Broken Spirits, Broken Hearts
by sereneexlyss
Summary: Both had broken hearts and spirits. She distrusted anyone, and he swore he would never fall in love again. When they meet, they soon begin to open again. She begins to trust him, and he soon falls in love with her. Fate has to be cruel.
1. Forewords

Quick Note:

I posted this story before a while back, but I took it down because I wasn't getting much of a response. Now that I finished a story, here I will try again. Hope that this story will receive some good feedback.

Forewords

Both had broken hearts and spirits. She distrusted anyone, and he swore he would never fall in love again. When they meet, they soon begin to open again. She begins to trust him, and he soon falls in love with her. Fate has to be cruel, and it surely tears them apart. Will they ever become one?

~Characters~

Name: Shan Cai

Age: 21

Occupation: College Student

Status: middle-class

Name: Hua Zhe Lei

Age: 22

Occupation: College Student

Status: first-class

Name: Teng Tang Jing

Age: 23

Occupation: College Student, Model, Lawyer

Status: first-class but demoted self to middle-class

Name: Xiao You

Age: 21

Occupation: College Student

Status: first-class but lives in a middle-class lifestyle


	2. I'll Never Fall in Love Again

Chapter 1

I'll Never Fall in Love Again (Lei's View)

Music: Love Loves You – Vic Zhou

I watched as she left the country. She was the love of my life…. We promised that we'd always be together. We promised that we'd love each other forever. But here, she's leaving, leaving me behind. "Why? Why do you have to leave?" Just when our relationship was getting stronger, she decides to leave it all behind. "Jing, why couldn't you stay? Why couldn't you have stayed and let me love you more?" I wanted to scream.

The day the plane disappeared into the cloudy sky, I swore, that I'd never fall in love again.

It's been nearly three months since her departure. Everything is still the same. The sun shone, the next day always came. Yet, in my heart, everything was different. In my heart, the sun was a dark cloud, the breeze was a stormy tornado, and every couple I passed on the streets and at school, mocked me.

I didn't want to live on. There was no reason for me to. Ever since she walked out of my life, I refuse to look at another woman. If I let myself to another woman, I feel that my heart will be broken again. I'll never fall in love again.

I still go to school, still go to sleep, and still go on with my life. Yet, it feels as if, a lot of who I am is still amiss… I feel that my body is just doing what is has to, but my mind and heart, are elsewhere… with Jing.

My story of Teng Tang Jing is beautiful. She and I met when we were in high school. We were high school sweet hearts, said everyone. From sophomores to seniors, we were still together. I met her when I entered my sophomore year, she was a junior. When we met, it was unforgettable. I remember the first day I saw here. I was sitting in the library doing some studying. That was when I saw her. She was holding several books in her hands, when one suddenly slipped out of her books. She was having trouble trying to pick it up, so I strode over to her and put the book into her hands. She smiled at me as I put it in her hand. She whispered a "thank you" as I just stared at her beauty. Her features were flawless. I almost wanted to place my hand on her face. We stood there in silence as I continued staring at her. She soon began to feel awkward at our silence, so she broke it first, "Um, I guess, I'll see you around…?" she then turned to leave, but I stopped her.

"May I know your name?" I almost said, shyly. She turned her head around and looked at me with a smile.

"My name is Jing," she turned her head back around and walked away. I let her walk away as I guess that she had to leave.

Everyday, I went back to the library, hoping to see her, I'd go during study hall most of the time, yet I never saw her. Finally, after two weeks of waiting for her to return to the library, she finally showed. I watched her walk around in the business section of the library. I found myself walking over to her and wondering what she's looking for. She noticed my presence, and looked at me. That was when I noticed her eyes. They were a color of brown, I've never before seen, dark, yet I could see through them, to the beauty possessed by their owner. I could feel myself being drowned in them. I noticed her eyes penetrating through mine. She broke the silence. "Hi, looking for something?" I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard her voice. I nervously answered her.

"No, I was just… looking around… browsing…" I tried covering up.

After that meeting, we constantly ran into each other, and soon, we began dating. I followed her everywhere, even up to college. Now, we attend Ying De University, the most prestigious and high class school of business education, or at least, we used to attend…

Thinking back to our past, made my heart ache. I didn't want Jing to leave, but knowing her, she wouldn't change her mind.


	3. Distrust

Chapter 2

Distrust (Shan Cai's View)

Music: It's Not Fair – Jenny Yang

I've been living under depression and autism for about a year… my parents abandoned me, my former friends used me, and now, I'm trying to get by on my own. I'm still going to school, still living, and living to be unnoticed. I chose to be this way. I chose to shut people out… but sometimes, I feel lonely… since I chose to be alone, I refuse to let anyone in. No one really knows who I am.

I spend most of my time at my school's library, mostly just to do my homework, or to just think. Let me tell you about my horrible past…

I was a sophomore in college, with friends and a loving family. Things were going well, I had a 4.0 GPA, a part-time job, everything a college student needed… but things decided to change. I came home one day from class, and found my parents packing their bags and some boxes. They told me they were leaving me. Leaving me for a different future. The only thing they left me was the apartment I'm living in now. A few weeks later, my former friends decided to take advantage of me… soon, I left my group of friends. Now I live alone, go to school, and work. Sure, my life is lonely… but it's the only way to get by, for me at least. I can't ask for another family, I can choose my friends… but I soon found that everyone at my school are all the same. A bunch of users, and after nothing but money. Heh, what else should I have expected, attending the most prestigious and expensive university of business education in the country. I've watched them all, especially the girls, go after people who have money. Especially random business people. I see mostly women fall over on the business men.

Sometimes when I lie alone in bed, waiting for sleep to consume me, I'll wonder what I did wrong that made my life fall apart so quickly. I'd always wonder about what happened. "Lord, what did I do wrong that made me deserve this?" Ending my horrible thoughts with tears, sleep finally found me.

Days go by, time never stops, and it just keeps coming and going. Life will always end with a tear… I feel disgusted as I watch the people at school walk around in their expensive clothes and expensive rings on their fingers. Why am I here? Why am I attending this school? I have no choice. If I want to graduate from this school, and become something I want to, I have to. Also, because, maybe, I could find my parents again, and show them of what I've become… but I sometimes wonder, do they still remember me? Do they still love me? Probably not. I'm just chasing dreams.


	4. As the Years Go By

Chapter 3

As the Years Go By… (Lei's View)

Music: I Don't Wanna Fall in Love – Tonya Mitchell

Just last year I graduated from Ying De College, and now, I'm just sitting around here in Taipei, waiting for something new to happen. Ever since Jing left, I have no guidance, no sight to beautiful things anymore… I may sound hopeless… but Jing was my only happiness. "Why did you have to leave? Leaving me all alone…" Then… I'd always ask myself… why didn't I go after her? Why didn't I stop her? Another part of me said, "Let her fulfill her dream. You're only holding her back." I let the love of my life leave… I'm not a selfish person… If Jing and I are meant to be, then I will let fate choose our paths, and let Jing be happy.

Every day during school, I play my violin. From noon to three in the afternoon. My cell phone on the stand, waiting for a call or a text message from Jing. For a while, Jing and I have kept in touch. Every other day she'd call or text message me, to say hi or something interesting that happened to her that day. It helped me keep going. A reason to keep going in my life. Other times, when I didn't feel like playing my violin, I'd sit up on the school's rooftop and look out at the scenery. The light blue sky, the cotton-like clouds, the breezes that blew my hair across my face. Sometimes I would dream, dream about my life with Jing. I must admit, that I really wanted to spend my life with her. I often practiced my lines to tell her that I wanted to marry her. But my chance never came. Jing will always be a dream. I'll chase after her if I must.

Several girls have approached me and wondered if I'd date them. I'd politely turn down each one of them. Even sometimes, I'd find gifts overflowing out of my locker. I'd find every girl and give them back their gifts. A lot of them would cry as I did this, but they eventually understood my reason. Call me harsh, but I can't bring myself to look at another girl.

Listening to the teacher go on and on about how dangerous chemical acids are, I start to fall asleep. In the background, I can still hear him talking. As I finally thought that I was going to slumber land, he claps his hands loudly which jolted me awake. "Hao ah! Let's get started with this experiment. But first, let me pick your lab partners." His beady eyes scanned the classroom with focus, "Wan Pei… and Chong Zi, Yi Ping and Fu Pei… Hua Zhe Lei… and… Shan Cai." I heard my name being called, and… Shan Cai? Who was that? I looked around the room to see if I could point her out. But before I could get to that, the teacher ordered us to get started. From behind me, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw a petite woman, with long raven black hair, and almost sad eyes. "Ni shi… Shan Cai?" I asked her. She simply nodded her head. "Well, we better get started." We walked over to our table and began the experiment.

Shan Cai and I began our experiment and we would up finishing just with an A+. Neither of us smiled. I just stood at our lab station and waited for others to finish. I glanced over at Shan Cai, her head was bent low, sitting up straight on the stool and her hands folded in her lap. Her eyes were in a clouded fury, as if she was going to cry. I wanted to ask what was her, but before I could, the bell rang. Looking at the clock I saw that it was twelve-thirty. Lunch time. Looking back over at Shan Cai, I saw her gather her books and slowly get up from her seat. I watched her leave the room slowly with her head still bent low. Absent-mindedly, I followed her.


	5. To Be Left Alone

Chapter 4

To Be Left Alone (Shan Cai's View)

Music: I Miss You –蔡依林

Leaving my Chemistry class slowly, I walk over to my locker to retrieve my lunch. As I reached my locker, I saw beautiful roses inside someone else's locker. The locker was rather overstuffed. I never saw the owner of the locker before… so I don't know if it's a girl or a guy. Opening my locker door, I pull my books out and go through each of them, looking for misplaced papers. After looking through each of them, I finally close my locker and leave for the library. But before I did, I saw that the locker that was completely overstuffed with roses was now swept clean… when did this happen? Pondering about when I missed them, I wondered if I could ever see them… how lucky they are to have admirers… or just mere crushes.

I will admit to you, I have wanted someone to love me, or to admire me… but my dream, will always be a dream… who would admire a broken down girl, with not parents, and basically, no life… I guess I was fated to be left alone.

Walking over to the library, I feel myself being followed… I listen for footsteps as I walk slower; I hear nothing… so I continue walking. Again, the footsteps I thought I didn't hear came to life. They were quiet… but had a faint sound to it. This time, I turned around to make sure I wasn't going crazy. As I turned around, I saw a young man, about my age, standing behind me. I quickly recognized him. He was my Chemistry partner, "Hua Zhe Lei?" His eyes, a mystery… as if you'd drown just looking into them. His lean body, standing at about six feet, and his hair, it looked delicate, like baby's hair, "Hua Zhe Lei?" I called out to him again, this time, he moved forward, towards me. What did he want?


	6. What Came Over Me?

Chapter 5

What Came Over Me? (Lei's View)

Music: I Can't Help It – Vicki Zhao

Absent-mindedly, I followed Shan Cai out to her locker, and through the halls. When I saw her come to her locker, I saw my own locker overstuffed with gifts and a bouquet of flowers from more girls. Quietly, I took out all the gifts and hurriedly looked for the girls that gave me them.

After finding each of them, I went back over to where my locker was, and saw that Shan Cai was still at her locker. I watched her flip through each one of her books busily. After about a few minutes, she finally closed her locker, and looked over at mine. What was she so curious about it? I then noticed that she walked down the hall, in the opposite direction. Following closely behind her, she suddenly started to walk slower… she must've heard me, or felt that she was being followed. I tried walking a little quieter, but her senses quickened, and she turned around and faced me. "Hua Zhe Lei?" she called out to me. I didn't move, nor acknowledge her call. I just… stared… staring at her… I examined her in Chemistry, but it was just a side view, now, she's in front of me. Her petite form, standing at about five feet, four inches, long hair that reached mid-back blew in the breeze of the mid-autumn's sky. But what really caught my eyes, were her facial features… her eyes were solemn… as if, there was a cry for help… a cry for attention and love, and her lips, a rosy color, but in a frown. Has she ever once smiled? "Hua Zhe Lei?" I heard her call to me again, this time I acknowledged her, as I stepped towards her. Each step I took towards her, her eyes kept growing wide, with fear… I didn't want her to be afraid of me… if that was what she was feeling, pure fear… I wanted her to have a comforting feeling when I was around. Standing an arms-length away from her, I made my first approach, to learn about her solemn-ness, her life… why is she so sad?

"Hi…" I started and she became nervous as I spoke. Grasping her books closely to her chest, she was afraid… afraid of what? "Um… it was really great to have you as my Chemistry partner. I honestly, didn't really know what was going on…" I tried making conversation with her, but I was getting nowhere... Realization hit me… what's come over me? Why am I talking to her…? I shouldn't be… Looking at her again, I tried excusing myself, but I got no response from her, and left.

I vowed I'd never look at another woman… and look at what I've done. But what made me follow her? What made me want to get to know her? I tried shaking this thought out of my head. 'I love Jing, and I always will' I kept reminding myself. 'Jing will always be the one I'll ever love'. Walking around the gardens of the school, I constantly tried thinking about Jing, but thoughts of me talking to Shan Cai kept pushing themselves into my mind. What is attracting me to her so much that I think about her after one meeting?

A ringing was heard from my pocket. Taking my phone out, I saw that a text message was received, it was from Jing! Excitedly, I opened it up and began reading.

_Lei,_

_I'm happy to say that I'm almost done with law school here in France. I am planning to return to Taiwan after I graduate._

_- Jing_

I was thrilled! Jing was soon coming home! Maybe fate is on my side? Only one more year and Jing will be back in my arms. Skipping around the garden and jumping for joy, I begin laughing uncontrollably, I was happy for the first time since Jing left.

I couldn't get over the thought that Jing is coming home. All my dreams and hopes I have, and still have, for her can still have a chance to come true! Fantasizing my life with her in my dreams and daydreams. I will admit that I've dreamt of being married to her, and she and I having kids, and raising them together. Run my father's business with her at my side. Growing old together. I'll always look forward to it.

Another ring was heard from my pocket; I pulled my phone out, and saw another text message from Jing. Opening it up, I began reading.

_Lei,_

_It's a definite! I'm coming back to Taiwan when I graduate from law school here in France! I can't wait to see you again!_

_ - Jing_


	7. A New Friendship

Chapter 6

A New Friendship? (Shan Cai & Lei's View)

Music: M – 浜崎あゆみ

*Shan Cai*

I was thinking about Hua Zhe Lei, and why he was following me... I could sense he was trying to make small talk, but he wasn't very good at it, let alone completely into it. However, I was scared… scared that I would make a friend… who may betray me, like all the others… he sensed my fear instantly, my eyes grew wide at each step he took towards me. He looked uneasy also, and decided to leave. I felt relieved that he left, but, I also felt guilty that he left… I felt as if I drove him off. It's hard to make friends… especially when you were once betrayed and used.

*Lei*

Back in Chemistry class, the teacher assigned both Shan Cai and I to be lab partners until the school year ended. He believed that we were the best team, and set a good example for the other students. Glancing over at Shan Cai, I saw her head in a low position, almost as if she didn't want to be partners.

The teacher gave us the rest of the period to ourselves. Immediately, the students got up from their seats and started talking with others. I, on the other hand, wanted to talk to Shan Cai…yet I kept telling myself that I must stay faithful to Jing. But I ignored it. I wanted to talk to Shan Cai. I wanted to get to know her… going with my heart; I started getting up out of my seat when suddenly four girls instantly surrounded me, insisting I'd talk to them. I politely excused myself, and made my way towards the lonely Shan Cai. I glanced at what she was doing to occupy herself. She seemed to be doing extra homework. I grabbed the desk in front of her at sat in it so I could face her. Seeming to be too occupied with her homework, I broke her thoughts by speaking up first. "Hi", I started.

She looked up at me, and I saw her eyes were solemn, lonely, lost… I almost felt her pain…felt her feelings… I could feel them… I really could. She has the same pain as I do…I feel solemn, lonely, and lost. This is the way I feel about Jing, and her leaving. I didn't think I'd find someone who shared the same pain as me. "Hi," she answered back to me. This time, her voice hesitated to speak. I decided to just cut to the chase.

"You always sit alone… may I ask why?"

"I don't really have a reason, I just, wind up sitting alone," she answered bluntly. Her eyes were focused on the homework in front of her. I was determined to figure out the cause to her pain, her solemn eyes, and her loneliness. I wanted to look into her eyes and find the cause of her pain.

Lifting her chin up with my fingers, I tried making eye contact with her, but her eyes still looked down onto the desk. I tried lifting her chin up higher, making her look at me. Finally having no choice, she looked straight into my eyes. I looked into them, searching, searching for the cause of her loneliness. I found nothing in her eyes. "Why are you solemn?" I asked her gently.

She looked away, but I kept my grip under her chin gently. She looked back at me, and tears were arousing in her eyes. I repeated my question several times, when she finally answered me. "It's a long and difficult story…" a tear escaped from her eyes as she said the word. Wiping away the lone tear, my own eyes began to tear up.

"I'm willing to listen…" I whispered to her. She looked into my eyes, another tear fell, and soon her cheeks became drenched with tears.

Class ended forty-five minutes later. I stayed with Shan Cai, wiping away her tear. Lunch was being served, but Shan Cai stayed put in our Chemistry class, I waited patiently for her to tell me what was bothering her. I left the room and came back with two bags of chips and sodas. Sitting in the same desk, I handed her the food. "Xie xie…" she whispered. Opening up the soda can, she took a sip, and a deep breath. She was ready to tell.

*Shan Cai*

I was surprised to learn that Hua Zhe Lei wanted to know the cause of my isolation. Becoming persistent, he never left me alone. I took a deep breath after taking a sip of soda, and I was ready to tell him. But before I did, I questioned him first. "May I ask, why you want to learn about me?"

"I have a feeling, that you and I share the same pain." My eyes grew slightly wide. Someone else knows my feelings? Someone else could share my feelings? "I believe you and I have had the same pain… you and I could express our feelings. Learn to feel what it's like to know someone understands."

It was true. I wanted to know how it felt to know someone who has the same feelings as I do. Know what it's like to talk to someone and who would understand. I decided to tell him, tell him about my pain, my past.

*Lei*

We spent the rest of the day listening to each other. Since we had no other classes, Shan Cai and I left campus. I drove her over to a nearby park, and we continued talking. "Shan Cai, are you afraid of trusting people again?" I asked suddenly. She slowly looked at me, then back down to the ground. I must've been right; she didn't answer me for a while.

"I… I am. I am afraid. I'm afraid to let myself look at another person, and think I'd be friends with them. I'm afraid I'll be burned and betrayed again…" a tear slipped from her eyes, and trailed down her porcelain cheek. Each tear that fell from her eyes, my heart clenched. My heart wanted me to be her friend, but my mind kept telling me that I have to stay faithful to Jing. Wiping away her tears, she turns solemn again.

"I'm afraid to love again. But it changed, because I have a reason to continuing loving someone." I told her. She looked at me with confused eyes. I only smiled lightly. "I'll tell you later." Looking out at the beautiful scenery of the park, I then bravely said to Shan Cai, "I'm willing to be your friend." Silence was all I heard from her. I looked over at her, and more tears were falling. "What's wrong? You don't want me to be your friend?"

She shook her head, "no, it's not that. It's just that… how do I know I can trust you?" she asked in a quivering voice. I thought about a way I could win her trust. It's not fair to close out everything just because of the past.

"How about, I promise, to never break your heart?" She hesitated, and then finally agreed.


	8. Can I Trust Again?

Chapter 7

Can I Trust Again? (Shan Cai's View)

Music: Are You Happy? –蔡依林

Am I willing to let Hua Zhe Le be my friend? Am I ready to trust someone again? Hua Zhe Lei promised me, he'll never break my heart. Can I really trust his words? "Hua Zhe Lei, do you really promise me?" I asked. I wanted to make sure, I have his word. He turned and looked at me with pure eyes.

"I promise. The last thing in this world I want to do is break someone's heart…especially when they don't deserve it." I smiled lightly at him. I then realized that that's the first time I've actually smiled. In one year, I've never smiled. I had no reason to. "You're cute when you smile." He complimented. Blushing, I look away.

"Xie xie ni, Hua Zhe Lei. I'm willing to put my trust into you." And at that very moment, I became a friend, and I made a friend.

The next day, I continued on with my life. I still didn't smile, but I did keep my hope in my heart. During brunch, I hid myself in the library like I always do, to get a head start on my daily assignments. About ten minutes into my homework, I heard the chair next to me pull out. Looking up, I found Hua Zhe Lei looking at me. "Hey, I thought I'd find you here."

"How did you know I'd be here?" I asked him.

"Because I followed you here before, remember?" I merely smiled. "Doing homework?" He asked curiously.

"I always do my homework at school. I work right after school until six at night. Then I need to do other chores around my apartment… I have a lot to do."

"So you're a busy girl? Very impressive. You surprised me. I would never guess that you other activities." He said to me innocently. Continuing on with my homework, he sits patiently next to me.

Glancing over at him, I then asked, "don't you have homework?"

He merely shrugged, "it doesn't apply to me. My father just recently bought this school, so I'm not given any homework. I'm not sure how that works but I just go along with it." 'Rich people', I thought to myself. "You live alone?"

"Yes. I live near school and where I work."

"Do you ever get lonely?"

"No, I'm used to the loneliness, remember?"

"I don't think it's safe for a woman to live alone. How big is your apartment?

"Two bedrooms and two bathrooms." I answered back to him.

"Maybe I should find you a roommate?" He offered to me. A roommate? Maybe… I'm not sure…

"Sure… let me know when you found one." He smiled like a little child who received a piece of candy. Maybe Hua Zhe Lei being my friend was a good idea after all.


	9. A Look at My Life

Chapter 8

A Look at My Life (Jing & Lei's View)

Music: Do You Still Love Me? -蔡依林

*Jing*

I truly felt guilty of choosing my dream over Lei. He and I, we had a beautiful relationship. When I return to Taipei, I'm hoping Lei and I can pick up from where we left off. I truly would love to spend the rest of my life with him.

I left Lei to fulfill my dream of becoming a lawyer to defend others who couldn't defend themselves. Before this, I attended Ying De University with Lei. There, I studied Business Management and some law classes. I was a model, and name Miss Taiwan two years ago. You can say that I'm a "perfect" woman, but this is not the life I want. I wanted to defend others, I wanted to help others. So I searched for the most prestigious law school in the world. I found it in France. I set my flight date, and prepared to leave.

I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye to Lei. Lei and I have been together since my junior year in high school. He followed me everywhere. He was a wonderful boyfriend. He treats me well, but I had to leave him, for my own happiness. "Jing! Please! Don't Go!" he shouted at me, as I walked closer and closer to the boarding gate.

"I'm sorry Lei, I have to leave. My dream, I need to fulfill this dream. I'll be back, I promise." And I did. I will come back, as soon as I earn my degree. Only one more year, just wait Lei, we will be together.

*Lei*

I've been thinking about Jing. That she's coming home in a year which we're going to be together forever. 'Please make this year go by faster, I can't wait for Jing to be in my arms again.' I pray every night about Jing coming home safely and into my life again. Ever since Jing text messaged me about her coming home, she and I call and text each other every day. I tell her my day happenings and about how much I miss her. She would always respond saying, "Just be patient". I didn't want to be patient, I wanted time to fly.

Saturday afternoon on a cool autumn day, I decided to take a walk instead of my normal fifteen hours of sleep. I decided on walking around the park, something to take my mind off Jing for a while. While I was walking around the park, my thoughts somehow drifted off and to Shan Cai.

I began thinking about her sadness, and her loneliness. I promised her I would never break her heart, and I intend to keep that promise. Shan Cai's heart doesn't deserve to be broken. I will help heal her pain, and sure she smiles every day.

I suddenly noticed that I haven't spent a few a days with her… extreme guilt hit me. I've been caught up with Jing and her coming home, I've neglected Shan Cai. The thought of making cry, the thought of my promise to her, both tugged at my heart. I wanted to go find Shan Cai, but my problem was, I didn't know where she lived… my body had a mind of its own as my thoughts began to drive me wild I had to find Shan Cai and make up that time. My feet led me to a small cake shop near the park. I looked at all the different cake displays in the window as a smile crept onto my face. I spotted a very small, but ke ai cake. Stepping into the shop, I decided to purchase it.

"Welcome," said a female voice. I then recognized that voice. Lifting my head, my eyes came in contact with the same solemn eyes I felt for.

"Shan Cai," the she was, standing behind the counter in a crimson red uniform.

"Um… welcome, Mr. Hua Zhe Lei…" she repeated again, bowed to me, like we were complete strangers. I don't want to be strangers Shan Cai… I want us to be friends, whom we can trust with our hearts.

"Shan Cai, no need to act formal." I teased her, trying to make her smile again. Her facial expressions were kept straight, was she afraid to smile? Walking closer over to the counter, I decided to apologize to Shan Cai for neglecting her for the past few days. "Shan Cai, I want to apologize for not being with you these few days. I was caught up with something else; I forgot what I was doing." I looked at her, hoping to find forgiveness in her eyes.

She looked up at me, with a solemn face, but forgiveness in her eyes. "It's alright, Hua Zhe Lei, you have your own life, you're free to do as you please, and I have no right to hold you back…" I bent my head down low, guilt was swallowing me whole. I had to make up for some lost time… but how?

An idea struck in my mind, "Shan Cai, how about tomorrow, we do something together?" She nodded happily, and smile on her face. "Great, now how about letting me have that cake?"


	10. Meet Your New Roommate

Chapter 9

Meet Your Roommate (Lei & Shan Cai's View)

Music: Sara (Chinese) –보아

*Lei*

I sat in Shan Cai's shop until her shift was over. We talked about what we wanted to be when we were little. I told her I wanted to be like my mother, wise and kind. Shan Cai told me that she once wanted to be a school teacher, but began to change her mind throughout the years. We talked a lot, and learned about each other in a matter of hours.

After Shan Cai's shift, we noticed that it was near six 'o' clock in the evening. "Are you hungry?" asked her. She nodded her. I took her to dinner at a little restaurant near her shop. While she was looking at the menu, her eyes widened. "Gan ma?" I asked her.

"Um… maybe… we shouldn't eat here…?" she asked nervously. Taking my own menu, I saw why she was nervous. The prices. Knowing she couldn't afford this dinner. I told her I'd pay. "How am I going to pay you back?" she asked as soon as I told her I'd pay.

"Don't worry about it."

"But…" she began to protest/

"Don't worry about it." The waiter came and took our orders. Shortly after, our orders came in. We ate quietly together for about thirty minutes. As much as I love silence, I couldn't stand much more of it. "Shan Cai, you should learn to talk more… Did you used to talk a lot before?" I asked curiously.

"I did… I used to talk all the time… but I don't see any reason to, now…" It was nearing eight 'o' clock, and I figured I should bring Shan Cai home. She must be tired from her long day at work.

"I'll take you home. Come." I paid for our dinner and we left within minutes.

*Shan Cai*

After our dinner, Hua Zhe Lei walked me home to my small apartment. Once we reached there, I kindly invited him in for a soda.

We stepped in, and he looked around the apartment while I grabbed two Pepsi's. "You have a nice apartment. You sure you're not lonely here?"

I'll admit I do get lonely, but I am used to it. "I sometimes am…"

"Maybe I can find you a roommate?" He told me. A roommate wouldn't be so bad…

"Okay." His cell phone rang softly from his pocket. He answered it with an expressionless tone.

"Wei? Xiao You? Hi!" a pause, "sure, I'll pick you up in a few minutes… oh, you need a place to stay?" he glanced at me, and something told me, Hua Zhe Lei had found me a roommate. He shortly hung up and looked at me. "Shan Cai, let's go to the airport, I want you to meet your new roommate."

Twenty minutes later, Hua Zhe Lei and I were in the airport waiting for my new roommate. Hua Zhe Lei was scanning the airport, looking for my roommate. "Lei!" a female voice rang in my ears. I turned around and saw a woman about my age and height speeding over towards Hua Zhe Lei. They fiercely hugged each other, like two lovers separated for years. They parted and Hua Zhe Lei turned to me. "Shan Cai, this is Xiao You, my cousin. She will be your new roommate for a while." Xiao You turned to me and lifted her hand out to me. I took it, and we shook hands.

"Very nice to meet you, Shan Cai."

"Nice to meet you too, Xiao You." Hua Zhe Lei looked at both of us and knew he had made the right choice.

"Well, shall we leave now?" Hua Zhe Lei led us out of the airport and into his Mercedes. It was about nine-thirty by the time Hua Zhe Lei brought Xiao You and me to my, er, our, apartment…

Leading Xiao You inside, I led her to her room, which used to be my parents room. Xiao You's room was a lot larger than my small one.

"This is really nice. Are you sure I can stay? I don't want to be a burden." Xiao You asked. I opened my mouth to begin protecting, but Hua Zhe Lei beat me to it.

"She insists. It's not safe for a girl to live alone."

*Lei*

Xiao You and Shan Cai have become good friends ever since Xiao you moved in. It felt good to see Shan Cai happier. During the day, Xiao You would leave for classes at a different school; while Shan Cai would work.

One Wednesday afternoon, Xiao You invited me out to have coffee. Xiao You was confused about my relationship with Shan Cai. "I'm only her friend. I promised her that I'd never break her heart." I began telling Xiao You about my past, and Shan Cai's, and how much pain we both shared. "Jing is coming home next year. I'm still waiting for her to return from her studies. Xiao You, I promise you, I will always keep my heart with Jing. Jing is the one for me."

"I trust your words Lei. You've always had a compassionate heart. Never once have you broken the heart of someone so dearly to you."


	11. Getting to Know You

Chapter 10

Getting to Know You (Shan Cai & Xiao You's View)

Music: White Love Song – RaRa

*Shan Cai*

It's been three days since I was introduced to Xiao You. She and I get along great. She voluntarily makes dinner, clean up the apartment and gathers groceries. I told her, er insisted, that she didn't need to do all those. But she simply replied back, "since I live here too, I should at least help out." After that, I decided to let her do what she wanted.

I learned a lot about Xiao You in just three days. Xiao You is the heir to the fifth largest hotel branch in Taiwan. She and Hua Zhe Lei visited each other often during the childhood whenever their parents were too busy. Xiao You has told me some things about Hua Zhe Lei. He plays the violin, but rather not play it in front of people; he is the next heir to his father's company located in Japan. He can speak four other languages; Japanese, English, Italian and French. His father is a strict man, who never takes "no" for an answer. His mother is kind, but also strict. "They're very traditional though." Xiao You added.

During the day Xiao You goes to school elsewhere, while I work or go to class at Ying De. I've seen Hua Zhe Lei during lunch, or in between breaks. He brings me home every day from school, unless I have to work after school, then he'd usually drive me to work. "Hey, guess what?" Hua Zhe Lei suddenly asked me.

"What is it?"

"Tomorrow is Xiao You's birthday!"

"Really? Wow! Oh, I need to get her something…"

"What about one of your cakes?" Hua Zhe Lei asked me. My cakes? Maybe one of my cakes that I've made would be good…

"You have to tell me what she likes…" I told him shyly.

"Of course…" he smiled at me. On my way to work, Hua Zhe Lei and I have been talking about plans for Xiao You's birthday. "What about a surprise party?" Hua Zhe Lei suggested.

"That would be fun. Xiao You doesn't usually come home until seven in the evening. Maybe we can set it up at our apartment?" I suggested to him.

"That's a great idea. We'll pick out a cake when we reach the shop."

We arrived at the cake shop shortly after our plan. I changed into my uniform in the back, and came out finding Hua Zhe Lei staring at his cakes.

"See any you like?" I asked him as I came out. He looked up at me, and nodded. "Which one?"

"I think this one here is cute." He pointed to a small cake on the second shelf. "I think Xiao You would like this one."

"Okay, I'll write 'Happy Birthday Xiao You' right now." I took the cake out of the display and brought it to the back to start writing.

"Can you fit in all on there?" Hua Zhe Lei called out.

"I'll make it fit!" I called back to him.

*Xiao You*

Learning about Shan Cai, and some of her painful past, I knew I had to help Shan Cai overcome her past. Shan Cai and I became great friends after I moved in. Before I came home from my classes, I'd stop by a grocery store to buy some groceries. Sometimes I would arrive home before her, so I would clean up the apartment, and prepare dinner for both of us. Shan Cai usually arrives home at six-thirty. I know she would be hungry from her long day.

As I set the table, I heard the door open up. I looked at the clock and noticed that it's a quarter to six. "Shan Cai?" I called out.

"Xiao You? You're home early…"

"Yes, well I didn't have classes this afternoon, so I did some grocery shopping and cleaned the apartment a little… I even made dinner."

"Oh, well, that's very nice of you, but you really don't need to do all of that…"

"I insist Shan Cai."

*Shan Cai*

Xiao You arrived home early… how was I going to get her out of the house so I could get everything set up for her surprise party? I remembered Lei, was waiting for me from outside. I went back outside to ask him to take Xiao you out. "Of course. I'll take her out for about half an hour and you can get everything set." Lei proposed. He gestured me to go back inside as he 'pretended' to just arrive at my doorstep.

"Uh, Xiao You, Hua Zhe Lei is here." I called out to her. Xiao You came out from the kitchen and saw Hua Zhe Lei stepping in.

"Lei! Hi! What are you doing here?"

"Just came over to see how you two are doing here."

"We're doing fine Lei, you don't need to worry. Shan Cai and I were about to have dinner, why don't you join us?"

"Actually I also came down to take you out." He turned to me as sign that he'll distract Xiao You so I can set up.

"Oh… but… what about dinner?" Xiao You looked at me seeing if it was alright if she left.

"Don't worry about me Xiao You. You go ahead. We have plenty other opportunities to eat dinner together. You go and have fun."

"Are you sure, Shan Cai?"

"I'm sure. You and Hua Zhe Lei must have a lot to catch up with."

Minutes later, Xiao You and Hua Zhe Lei left, and I began setting the apartment up with decorations.


	12. Happy Birthday Xiao You

Chapter 11

Happy Birthday Xiao You! (Xiao You & Lei's View)

Music: Make a Wish - 周渝民

*Xiao You*

I felt guilty for leaving Shan Cai and going out with Lei. Although she insisted that I go with Lei, I still felt really guilty. "Lei, what's the occasion for wanting to take me out…?"

"Xiao You! How can you forget? Today's your birthday! You're twenty-two today!" Lei exclaimed to me. I couldn't believe it! Today is my birthday! I can't believe I forgot my own birthday. "Well… what would you like to do?" lei asked me as he drove out of the neighborhood.

"I would really like to go back to Shan Cai… she's probably really lonely right now…"

"We'll go back in a few minutes. How about we talk? We haven't seen each other in years." He offered innocently.

"Alright. I guess we can talk for a few minutes…" I gave into Lei, he always has a way to make me fulfill his requests.

*Lei*

I kept Xiao You for about twenty minutes and I figured that that was enough time for Shan Cai to get everything ready. "Are you ready to go back now?" I asked Xiao you. She nodded then asked what time it was. "Don't worry; we've only been out for twenty minutes. Come, let's go back now."

Once we arrived at the apartment, we both noticed the lights weren't on inside. Xiao You thought Shan Cai must've gone to sleep early. She hurriedly got out of the car and rushed inside. I followed her closely behind. When Xiao You opened the door, I snuck past her and into the kitchen where Shan Cai was probably hiding. "Shan Cai?" Xiao You called out. She repeatedly called out to Shan Cai, so we decided to finally come out.

"SURPRISE!" We shouted as I turned on the lights and Shan Cai held out the custom made cake. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY XIAO YOU!" Xiao You really did look surprised. She came forward to us, and hugged us both.

"You guys are great! Xie xie ni!" She looked at both of us and wiped away escaped tears.

I chuckled as she wiped away the tears, "Wei, what are you crying about?"

"Alright already, let's eat this cake already." Xiao you exclaimed to stop me from teasing her. Shan Cai put the cake down on the table and started cutting.

"Wait a minute!" Shan Cai exclaimed, "Xiao You, you are supposed to make a wish and blow out your candles!" So Xiao you stepped forward and looked at the cake. She then decided to take notice of the custom made cake.

"It's beautiful… the cake… where did you find it?" The cake was round, with a crème colored icing, and roses of different colors scattered upon the icing. The characters 'Happy Birthday Xiao You' were across the cake in a deep purple color.

"Make a wish, Xiao you." I urged her gently. Holding her hair back, she blew out her candles.

*Xiao You*

We opened the presents shortly after. Shan Cai generously made me a hand-made scarf. It will come in good use, for winter is approaching. Lei gave me a sapphire necklace with two emeralds at each side. I thanked them both and hugged them for a long time.

At around nine, Lei decided to go home for his fifteen hours of sleep. I merely laughed as Shan Cai became dumb-founded at how an active human can sleep for fifteen hours. I explained to Shan Cai that he's had this habit since young.

We bid Lei goodnight, and watched him drive off into the dark autumn night.


	13. Go Away

Chapter 12

Go Away (Shan Cai & Lei's View)

Lonely Winter –周渝民 (F4)

*Shan Cai*

For about a month, Lei and I have become really close friends. I know I can trust him. He has earned my trust, by always being there for me. He's watched over me ever since Xiao You moved in. He brings me to school, to work, and back home. I always tell him that he really doesn't need to do all of this. But he always shrugs it off, and continues his doings.

One regular school day, I decided to walk to school. I left Xiao You a message for Lei, in case he comes after I leave. As I headed out the door, I already found Lei approaching the door. "Hi Shan Cai, are you ready to leave?" He asked as he came a few feet from me.

"Um… I was actually… planning to walk to school today… if you don't mind…" I told him lightly hoping it won't hurt him.

"Oh, okay. I'll walk with you." He started to walk away, then turned back to look at me. "Are you coming?"

"What about your car?"

"It's okay. I'll get it after school."

"Are you sure you want to walk? It's a long walk…"

"If you can do it, so can I." He then reached for my bag.

"Gan ma?" I asked as I backed away a little.

"Carry your bag."

"I can carry it on my own." I said to him, but he still reached for it and took it out of my hands, and began walking. I began following close behind with my head slightly low.

*Lei*

While we were walking to school, I noticed again that Shan Cai was being uncomfortably quiet. "Shan Cai, you really need to learn to talk more." She glanced up at me, and then looked back down at her feet. "Is there something bugging you?"

"No…" she answered immediately. Something was wrong, I could tell. "It's nothing, really… really…"

I stopped and made her look at me. "Shan Cai, do you want me tell me what's wrong?" I know I was being nosy… but I never want Shan Cai to feel out of place, sad, or alone. "You know you can tell me anything. I'm always here to listen to you."

"Hua Zhe Lei… why are you so nice to me?" She asked attentively. Confusion spread across her face, and her hair cascading down.

"You always seem to ask me that. You don't even need to ask Shan Cai. Your answer is always right in front of you."

We arrived at school shortly after my small explanation. "May I have my bag back?" She asked once we stepped onto school campus. I handed her back her bag, and she quickly ran off without even muttering a good-bye. I watched her disappear into the crowded halls as the first bell rang loudly. Why was she acting as if I was an infectious disease…? I had to solve this mystery.

Waiting patiently for Shan Cai's class to end, I stood by the door and leaned against the frame, almost listening to the lecture. The dismissal bell rang, and all the students flooded out of every classroom. Shan Cai was last person to leave the room, her head low, and clinging onto her books. "Shan Cai?" I called to her, and she immediately noticed my presence and looked up to meet my gaze. "Ready for lunch?" I asked casually. She nodded slowly, and led the way to the cafeteria.

Shan Cai's endless silence was really beginning to annoy me. "Shan Cai… something's wrong, I know it. I don't mean to force you, but I want you to learn to trust me… please," taking her clenched hands in mine, I enclosed them into my hands, "please, Shan Cai, learn to trust me. I promise, I'll never break your heart."

"Lei, really, it's nothing… there's nothing wrong…" she answered me. Suddenly, two girls, dressed in designer's clothes, were beginning to bully Shan Cai right in front of me!

"Shan Cai xiao jie, you are not worthy of Hua Zhe Lei's time. Why would he give you the kind of time?" One began, while the other had her arms folded across her chest. Looking at Shan Cai, I now began to realize what was bothering her. She was being bullied by others when I wasn't around.

"Dui! You shouldn't be in his way; he already has his eyes on someone else!"

*Shan Cai*

These two girls would never leave me alone. Every day when Hua Zhe Lei wasn't around, they would always bully me, and tell me to leave Hua Zhe Lei alone. I believe these two, I am not worthy of Hua Zhe Lei's time, which is why I am trying to avoid him, but it's no use. Hua Zhe Lei always manages to find me. "Hua Zhe Lei already has his heard set for someone else. You should just go away! You're just an eye sore!" Why should I have thought that I could one day fit myself in Hua Zhe Lei's heart? Yes, I have developed feelings for Hua Zhe Lei, but, now… I know that I'll never be able to fit myself there. Maybe I _should_ go away. I don't belong here…

"Wei! No one gave you permission to do this act!" I heard Hua Zhe Lei… he, he was defending me from their hurtful words… looking up, I see Hua Zhe Lei, almost towering the two girls.

"But, Hua Zhe Lei shao ye, she is not worthy of you! We're only saving you from her. She might jeopardize your relationship with Teng Tang Jing xue jie!" One of the girls argued back.

"That shouldn't be any of your concern! Now get out of here!" I watched the girls scatter away from Hua Zhe Lei.

"Shan Cai…?" I heard Hua Zhe Lei's gentle voice as he sat back down. "Is that what has been bothering you? Have you been bullied by those two?" I didn't answer him… for it was true. Ever since he started talking to me, those two have never stopped talking nor bully me. "Is this also why you're quiet around me?" Again, I didn't answer.

*Lei*

Shan Cai has been bullied ever since she and I started talking and became friends. It's now my job to protect her from anymore heart aches. I suddenly grabbed her hand and made her follow me. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to my refuge." We reached the top of Ying De. The rooftop. "This is where I come whenever I feel like getting away, or when I feel like thinking. And now, I', sharing this place with you." Walking to the ledge, I look over to see the scenery.

"It's beautiful. Thank you, Hua Zhe Lei."


	14. Gradually Feeling

Chapter 13

Gradually Feeling… (Xiao You & Shan Cai's View)

Music: Love is… Day by Day – SES

*Shan Cai*

Day by day, my feelings for Hua Zhe Lei grew stronger and stronger… I want to stop feelings for I know, sooner or later, I'll become severely heartbroken, and I don't want that feeling again. Over and over, before I got to bed, I tell myself that I can't fall in love with him…

On a cloudy Saturday morning, Xiao You invited me out to go shopping. I agreed happily, and we set off.

While shopping, Xiao you was going from store to store, rack from rack, and sale to sale. "Xiao you, slow down!" I would call to her, but she never will slow down.

"Kuai dian le Shan Cai! Let's go into this store!" She hurriedly runs into the store while I try catching up. Once I got in, I noticed that we were in a small boutique. "Shan Cai! Over here!" Xiao You was in the back of the boutique with countless of gowns. Walking over to her, something caught my eye. Looking to my right, I saw a really beautiful gown. It was a full length, off the shoulder, silver dress. Pieces of shining stars were stamped along the length. It was beautiful. I reached out to touch it, but Xiao You's voice snapped me out of my gaze. "Shan Cai?" I saw her look at the dress I was gazing at, "Wow, what a beautiful dress. Want to try it on?" She asked me brightly.

"Try it on?" I'm not worth of wearing something so glorious. "No, I was just admiring it."

"I think you should try it on!" Xiao You said excitedly. Taking the dress off the rack she took my arm and pulled me over to the dressing rooms. "Go ahead and try it on." She almost shoved me into the room and closed the door. Having no choice, I decided to try it on.

*Xiao You*

I knew Shan Cai had her eyes set for that dress. She feels very insecure of herself, so I decided to help her overcome that. "Shan Cai? Are you finished?"

"I… I guess…" she called back.

"Well, come out, let me see."

"…I don't think…"

"Oh come on, I'm sure you look fine." She was once again being shy and insecure of herself. I tried coaxing her out, and finally she stepped out. Looking at Shan Cai, she looked like a whole new person. It fit her perfectly, almost a second skin. Her hands were clasped in front of her as she bit her lower lip. "You look beautiful Shan Cai. You should really get that dress."

"What use would I have for it?" She asked, "I can't even afford this…"

"Don't worry about it. I'll pay for it." I offered.

"No, really, it's okay. I don't… really want it…"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure…"

"Okay, well, let's go home."

We went back home after Shan Cai put the dress back. I saw how much she didn't want to put the dress back. But it was her decision to not get it, and I couldn't change her mind. Shan Cai fell asleep once she sat down on the couch. I must've tired her out.

*Shan Cai*

The weekend went by swiftly and a new week was ahead of me. My plan was to try to avoid Hua Zhe Lei as much as possible. I couldn't fall in love with him. It will only land in disappointment. "Wei! Shan Cai!" Those two girls again, never will leave me alone. "Think fast!" A magazine was thrown at me. "Look at page thirty-one with your unworthy eyes!" Turning the pages, I found myself staring at a beautiful woman. Her features sharp, flawless skin, thick hair, and eyes that would out-shine any rare jewel. "Her name is Teng Tang Jing. Hua Zhe Lei's first love, and girlfriend. There's no way you can compete with her. So you should just go away. Leave Hua Zhe Lei and let him be. He doesn't need you meddling into his precious love-life!" I was suddenly roughly pushed and fell to the ground with my long hair cascading my face, and a lone tear falling from my eyes. "Aww… look, we made her cry. You've been warned Shan Cai." The two girls left, and I was still on the ground. The magazine was opened to Teng Tang Jing's smiling face.

"She's beautiful… she could have any guy she wanted. And she has the one my heart is slowly beginning to fall for." I spoke out loud. Another tear slipped from my eyes and landed on the page of Teng Tang Jing as I thought of Hua Zhe Lei one day telling me a hurtful comment… "But he promised me…"

"Promised you want?" a male voice was heard, and my eyes met his, "that I'll never break your heart?"


	15. What Should I Do?

Chapter 14

What Should I Do? (Lei, Shan Cai, & Xiao You's View)

Music: Can't Speak – Jay Chou

*Lei*

"Did someone bully you again?" I asked her as I helped her up off the ground. She only kept her head low, unable for me to see her eyes. She's developed this habit for a while now. Running my hand down her long black hair, she suddenly froze. "What's the matter?" I asked her, "is everything alright? You don't seem to look alright… are you hungry?" Worriedly she began to become pale… "Shan Cai?" I grabbed her shoulders to see if she'll snap out of her sudden trance, "Shan Cai!"

"Hua Zhe Lei… is it true?" She spoke suddenly.

"Is what true?"

Lifting up the magazine that was in her hands, she turned the pages, and finally showed me a picture of a very stunning Jing. "Is it true… that you are in love with her?" Her head, again, low. Looking at the picture, I take the magazine from her and stared at it. Fingering the picture gently, I begin reminiscing the times I've shared with her. A smile crept onto my face. ' I miss you, Jing.' "So it's true then?"

Her sudden voice startled me. Was she upset of this? "Yes it is true. I am in love with her."

*Shan Cai*

Those words stung my heart. Hua Zhe Lei's heart has already been captured. These words as evidence, will give me a reason to not fall in love with him. "Okay, I only wanted to know." I casually, yet emotionlessly said. "I have to get to class." I sprinted off and away from Hua Zhe Lei. Never will I let myself fall in love with him.

I lied; I went to the rooftop instead. I could no longer stand this… Hua Zhe Lei's heart is taken, but why does he still want to be with me? Would it be better if I just went away? Maybe I should, one day…

I went home myself, without Hua Zhe Lei knowing that I even left. As I was walking home, my mind pictured nothing but the stunning face of Teng Tang Jing. Hua Zhe Lei deserves someone like her… he does not need me.

I arrived home at around three, and remembered suddenly, I had to go to work at five, I tried to get some homework done, but it was truly hard for me to concentrate. I couldn't shove the picture of Teng Tang Jing into the back of my mind. Her pretty face will forever haunt me. 'Why can't I be like you?' I shouted into my head.

Xiao You came home shortly after me, and must've sensed my uneasiness. "Shan Cai?"

*Xiao You*

Shan Cai looked very deep in thought… something was up. "Is everything okay?" I asked her.

"Xiao You… is it true that Hua Zhe Lei is in love with Teng Tang Jing?" she asked.

'Jing'. I haven't heard from her for a few years. I clearly remember how Lei, Jing and I would always hang out together when were in high school. I remember the day Lei confessed his feelings for Jing, and told me how they were going to go to the same college together. Both were truly, a perfect couple, until Jing decided to study elsewhere…

He and Jing met each other in high school. I was love at first sight for those two. Lei, was never shy around her, he feels completely secure around her. They shared same interests, went everywhere together. Sometimes, when they were both alone together, Lei would pull out his violin and begin playing a new music piece he composed. I remember I asked Lei to replay the songs to me, but he simply replied, 'It's for Jing's ears only'. I know Jing was really a special person in Lei's heart. It was rare for him to play anything in front of anyone. So far, only Jing has earned that she was a bit upset. Sitting down next to her, I then asked her, "Shan Cai… do you have feelings for Lei, that are more than just friends?" With solemn eyes, she stared straight out, and confessed.

"Xiao You… what am I to do? I have feelings for him… but his heart is already captured… I could never compete with her… they must really have a strong bond…" she paused for a second, and continued, "I keep telling myself, that I can't let myself fall in love with him.. but it's hard… the more I keep telling myself this, the deeper I begin to fall for him… he's so kind to me.. I can't tell my heart to resent him… I don't know what to do." Shan Cai sounded so desperate. Here she was, her mind full of images of Lei and Jing together… and her heart begging, crying for help.

"Shan Cai… I think… the only thing to really do, is to tell Lei how you feel…" a knock was heard at our door. Getting up to answer it, I found Lei staring back at me. "Lei?"

"Is Shan Cai home? I couldn't find her after school…" Lei looked worried. Did he care for Shan Cai like she cares for him?

"Um… she's home, but she's about to leave for work." I tried covering up for Shan Cai. I saw Shan Cai look at the clock on the wall and she realized what time it was.

"Oh… okay, well, I'll just wait for her then." He then let himself and sat on the couch as Shan Cai changed into her uniform for work. I took this chance to ask Lei about his feelings.

"Lei?" I sat down across from him, "tell me your feelings for Shan Cai."


	16. True Hearts

Chapter 15

True Hearts (Lei & Shan Cai's View)

Music: Fly Away – TAKE

*Lei*

Xiao You suddenly asked me about my feelings for Shan Cai. "Why do you suddenly ask that?" I asked Xiao You curiously.

"Well… you do a lot for her… and I only want to know how you feel about her…" Xiao You did bring up a point… I have been with Shan Cai a lot lately. My feelings for her…

"Xiao You, you don't need to worry. My feelings for Shan Cai are only close friends. I told you this before. Do you remember?" I merely told her.

"Wo ji dao… ke shi… I can't help but think that you'll have a change of heart. I like both Jing and Shan Cai… but you care for both of them so dearly… I can't help but think…"

"Xiao You, it's okay. Wo ai Jing. I always will."

*Shan Cai*

I didn't mean to eavesdrop on Xiao You and Hua Zhe Lei's conversation… but yet again, his words have stung me. His heart will forever be held by Teng Tang Jing. A tear escaped from my eyes, and I quickly wiped it away. I stepped out and ready to go. "Are you ready Shan Cai?" I heard Hua Zhe Lei say gently. Nodding my head, we left the apartment.

The short drive to my work place was extremely silent, and as soon as Hua Zhe Lei pulled up in front of my work place, I hastily go out of the car and dashed into the store. I hid myself in the kitchen, in the back and hoped that Hua Zhe Lei would not come after me. But my prayers were not answered, for I heard Hua Zhe Lei's voice echoing throughout the shop. "Shan Cai, ni hao bu hao? Please, come out and talk to me?" His voice sounded so tempting… I wanted to come out… but I couldn't… I can't let myself fall in love with him… I sank down to the ground, and hugged my knees to my chest. "Shan Cai" Hua Zhe Lei had found me. I buried my face in my folded arms almost hoping he wouldn't find me. "Shan Cai?" I felt his gentle hand on my shoulder as I could no longer hold in my tears. Shan Cai, please tell me, what's wrong? Were you bullied again? Did someone hurt you?"

"Hua Zhe Lei… please… go away…" I merely said to him. He was confused…

"Shan Cai, I—"

"Please, just go…"

*Lei*

Again, Shan Cai was avoiding me. Had I done something wrong? Have I upset her? Fulfilling her request, I got up, and left. As I left the shop my phone had rang. "Wei?" I answered.

"Lei! Change of plans, I'm coming home next week!" It was Jing's harmonious voice.

"You're coming home?" I asked reassuringly.

"Yes! I'll be home next week! Will you pick me up?"

"Of course! I can't wait Jing…" I told her gently.

"Me neither. Goodbye!" Jing hung up. She was coming home next week! I can hardly wait to hold her in my arms again. Please let this week go by fast!

For a few days now, Shan Cai has been breaking all contact to her. I visit her work place, but her manager would always reply that she already went home. I try looking for her at school, but she's never seen. I even call for her at home, but if Xiao You was home, she would tell me that she just left for work… where is she?

*Shan Cai*

For a few days, I've broke all contact to me so Hua Zhe Lei wouldn't find me. I need him, and myself, to forget about each other. I knew I was being harsh… but it was the only solution I could think of so suddenly. He must be feeling confused now…

Arriving home for a walk in the park, I heard Xiao You talking, "Lei, really? Is she really coming back?"

"She is. Next week! I can't wait." Hua Zhe Lei's voice was heard from the kitchen. I quietly tried to sneak over to my room without being seen or heard, but when I made my first step, Hua Zhe Lei had stepped out of the kitchen. "Shan Cai?" I stopped in my tracks; as I knew that I could no longer escape… "I've been looking for you." He approached me, and I could only take a step back.

*Lei*

Shan Cai still continued to puzzle me. As I approached her, she nervously took a step back. "Shan Cai? What's the matter?" Xiao You came in behind me.

"Shan Cai? You're home. How was your walk?" Xiao You approached Shan Cai, but Shan Cai did not move either.

"Please, I just want to get to my room." Shan Cai requested silently. Something was bugging her… if only she'd tell me… "I'll bring you to your room." Xiao You was about to usher her to her room, but I stopped them.

"I'll bring her to her room." I spoke. Xiao You looked at me then back at Shan Cai. Shan Cai's head was bent low, trying to avoid all eye-contact. I moved closer to Shan Cai and took her shoulder. Giving her a gentle push, she started walking as I guided her.

When we set in her room, I sat her down on her bed. She, herself, lied down and curled up into a ball. "Shan Cai? Please, tell me, what is bothering you?" I was so desperate. I don't want to her to live in depression, or in ignorance. "Please, Shan Cai." I gently picked her up and held her in my arms while soothingly ran a hand through her hair. Soft sobs were heard from her as I suddenly felt my new polo shirt beginning to dampen. "Please Shan Cai, please, don't hide from me, don't shut me out."

"Hua Zhe Lei…" she spoke, "please… don't shut me out either…" I looked at her, "don't shut me out when Teng Tang Jing comes home…"


	17. Coming Home

Chapter 16

Coming Home (Xiao You, Shan Cai & Lei's View)

Music: Only Hope – Mandy Moore

*Xiao You*

"Don't shut me out... please... don't..." Shan Cai's cries were breaking my heart as I stood at the doorway watching them. Here Shan Cai was, begging Lei to not push her out of his life, and Lei, unsure of what she means. I know Lei loves Jing... but now, he has an admirer, who he doesn't see in his heart. Lei shouldn't have meddled into Shan Cai's life. Poor Shan Cai, I know how she's feeling.

*Shan Cai*

Sobbing into Hua Zhe Lei's arms, I couldn't think, I couldn't control my emotions. I wanted to stop crying... "I'll never push you out Shan Cai, as long as you don't push me out of yours. I promise." Although his words sounded true, I couldn't tell if I could really trust his words. "Shan Cai, how do you know that Jing is coming home?" Hua Zhe Lei asked me. I didn't answer... "Shan Cai?"

"Lei," Xiao You came in, "Shan Cai, asked me about Jing. I only told her the truth." I still kept myself buried in Hua Zhe Lei chest. Tears still fell from my eyes.

"Shan Cai..." Hua Zhe Lei lifted me off his chest and made me face him, "is that you main worry? Are you worried that I'll push you out of my life?" I gave a little nod, and kept my eyes focused on the ground. "Shan Cai, don't ever keep that thought in your mind. I promised that I'll never break your heart, and I will keep that promise." He paused for a second, then continues, "but I would love it if you meet her, Shan Cai, she's coming home next week."

"She really is coming home, right Lei?" I heard Xiao You ask in delight. I felt Hu Zhe Lei nod his head. "I can't wait to see her again." I felt more weight on my bed, as Xiao You joined us. "You will love Jing, Shan Cai, both of you will become fast friends, just like you and did." A part of me didn't want to meet Jing, for I thought that if Jing comes home, Hua Zhe Lei and Xiao You will be occupied with Jing so much, I'll be pushed out... forgotten.

*Lei*

Jing is coming home in three more days. I can hardly control my eagerness. I've continued to still keep Shan Cai company, and always assuring her that I'm here. Shan Cai has been a little happier, ever since we cleared things up, but is still bullied at school. I took the advantage of changing all my classes to be the same as hers. So far, no one has come within a few feet of her.

Shan Cai has been growing thin lately. I've been trying to get her to eat more, but she's eating less and less. "Shan Cai, you need to eat...please." It still puzzled me. Even after we cleared things up, she's still acting very strange. "Shan Cai, I still would like you to meet Jing," I told her suddenly, "you'll become great friends with her, I promise."

*Shan Cai*

Hua Zhe Lei really wanted me to meet his girlfriend, Jing. I didn't really want to... but to keep a smile or his face... I have no choice but to meet her.

Teng Tang Jing's arrival date was nearing quicker and quicker. I really dread to meet her. All I can think about is Hua Zhe Lei spending every inch of his time with her, and forget all about me... but do I have the right to fight for his attention? I think not... I can't bear to see them together. Maybe, after I meet her, and also comply to Hua Zhe Lei's wishes, I'll move away. Move away, let Xiao You have the apartment, and Hua Zhe Lei and Teng Tang Jing will forever be happy together, there is no place, no reason, for me to stay in their lives.

*Xiao You*

Ever since Lei and I announced to Shan Cai that Jing was coming home, Shan Cai has been acting in a very depressed mood... I can sense that she really didn't want to meet Jing. After hearing Lei brag about her over and over again in front of Shan Cai, I could see her closing up, and having low self-esteem. I called Lei out one afternoon while Shan Cai was at work. I wanted to set Lei straight about Jing and Shan Cai. "What did you call me for?" Lei asked.

"Lei, have you even taken notice of how Shan Cai is acting? You've been bragging about Jing so much lately, that Shan Cai has become depressed. You need to be careful... I don't want to see Shan Cai hurt."


	18. Broken Hearts

Chapter 17

Broken Promise (Everyone's View)

Music: Broken – Seether feat. Amy Lee

*Lei*

Xiao You's concern got me thinking back to some of the past moods Shan Cai's been in. I have been bragging about Jing. Now I feel guilty... all of my bragging has led Shan Cai to think very low of herself. I should do something to make her still feel important.

After my meeting with Xiao You, I headed towards Shan Cai's work. The cake shop suddenly became very busy and crowded, I saw Shan Cai almost struggling to maintain the crowd. Although within a half hour, the crowd left in satisfaction. The tired Shan Cai sat herself down on one of the booths. I sat myself across from her and began thinking of a way to make up some lost time. I then suddenly thought of a good plan. "Shan Cai, are you doing anything tomorrow night?" she looked at me anxiously then shook her head. "Would you like to spend a movie night with me? I'll rent something and we can watch it at your apartment?" She thought for a moment, then a tiny smile pulled at her lips, I knew I had succeeded in making her happy again. "I'll come by at seven. How's that?" She nodded and the small smile soon turned into a bright smile.

*Jing*

I'm so excited! I'm going home to Taiwan for the winter break. I'm sure Lei will be very happy about it. Today is the seventeenth of November. A beautiful blue sky with a few puffs of clouds. The scene of autumn leaves falling gently to the ground in shades of orange and brown is simply breathtaking and leaves me in complete tranquility. My mind drifts back to my life in Taiwan, and the fateful day that I had to leave Lei behind. I regret leaving him at times... but I thought it was good for us to be apart.

I leave for Taiwan in a few hours... I know I'm expected to be there the day after tomorrow, but I can no longer wait. Lei, I'm coming home.

*Shan Cai*

The night of mine and Hua Zhe Lei's movie night was coming closer every second. I told Xiao You about it, and she was very excited that she decided to leave the apartment for the night. "Where will you go for the night?" I asked with concern.

"I haven't been around Taiwan for a while. Maybe I'll take a walk? I'll come back before eleven," she simply answered.

For the whole afternoon I've been preparing snacks for the night and made sure my tiny living room wasn't uncomfortable to be in. I cleaned my little kitchen ad for the fifth time, I straightened out my living room. My heart was beating nervously, yet I don't understand why I feel nervous... this is a simple, simple...I don't know what this is called... it's not really a date... it's just a... hang out? Now I'm more nervous!

*Lei*

I was at the video rental store, looking for a good movie that will satisfy both a man and a woman who are just friends. While I was searching, my phone rang softly. Looking at who the caller was, my face broke out into excitement, it was Jing yet again! "Hello? Jing?"

"Lei! I'm at the airport right now, will you come and pick me up?" she asked.

"Of course! I'll be there in twenty minutes." Hanging up the phone, I sprinted out of the store and into my car.

I drove excitedly all the way down to the airport. I just couldn't believe that Jing is here. Here where she always should be. "Lei!" I heard my name being called excitedly and I already knew who it was. Turning around I saw Jing running over to me with her bright smile that glowed brightly in a dark crowd.

"Jing!" I ran to her and met her halfway. I embraced her tightly and inhaled her sweet scent. "I missed you so much." I told her almost desperately.

"I did too, I missed you so much Lei!" She returned my hug in the same grip. Everything in my mind left me, everything but Jing. Right here, and right now, this is what I want to think about.

*Shan Cai*

It's about eight 'o' clock in the evening, and Lei hasn't shown up yet. I still waited patiently for him. Something in the back of my head was telling me that he wasn't coming, but I ignored it. "Lei will come, he's just running late, that's all." I kept repeating this over and over in my head. Second by second, minute by minute, and hour by hour, I waited.

By ten 'o' clock, I faced the truth; he wasn't coming. I felt so heartbroken, betrayed... everything... I finally lied myself on the couch and cuddled into a fetal position. Two tears slid down my cheeks, and slowly drifted off to sleep.

*Xiao You*

At about ten thirty, I returned home to the apartment. I saw the porch light still on, I figured Shan Cai left it on for me. As I went inside, I saw that the kitchen light was still on, and I heard light snoring. "Shan Cai?" I called out gently. Walking into the small living room, I found Shan Cai sleeping on the couch. Then my attention was caught by the untouched snacks that I guessed that Shan Cai worked so hard on.

I became disappointed that Lei had broken his promise. I pitied Shan Cai, but I was more disappointed in Lei. Not caring what time it was, I picked up my cell phone and angrily dialed his number.

*Lei*

I was having the time of my life with Jing. We were at a local pub, just talking and drinking. Jing did most of the talking while I just stared and listened to her. I almost tuned her out so all I could do was just stare at how beautiful she is. "I missed you Jing." I said to her in a husky tone.

She smiled and placed a hand over mine, "I missed you too," she said back in an equal tone. "What have you been doing while I was gone?" She asked me.

"The usual. Going to school, playing my violin, going to the pubs..."

"No girlfriend?" she asked innocently.

"No, never only you." She blushed and took a sip of her brandi. My phone began to vibrate violently in my pocket. Pulling it out. I read the name. "Xiao You?" Answering it, I hear Xiao You somewhat yelling at me, "Xiao You, Xiao You, calm down, what's the matter?"

"What's the matter? What's the matter? You ditched Shan Cai! What are you doing right now?" My eyes widened, I looked at my Rolex watch, and saw that it was a quarter to eleven. Our movie night... I totally forgot. "Xiao You, I'm sorry... I lost track of time... Jing just flew in... I went to go pick her up, and well, I just lost track of time."

"Lei, don't tell me the story, tell it to Shan Cai! She seems really upset... I just got home, and I found her asleep on the couch. She's been waiting for you..." Again, extreme guilt had hit me.

"Xiao You, I'll be there in ten minutes." Hanging up, I turned to Jing. "Jing, I have to go somewhere, I'll bring you home."

After I brought Jing home, I sped over to Shan Cai and Xiao You's apartment. Once I slowed the car in front of the apartment, an emotion greatly took over my heart. Walking up to the front door. I lightly knocked on the door. Hearing a light shuffling, Xiao You opened the door and walked over to the living room. I followed slowly, and watched Xiao You clean up. My attention was then caught by a sleeping Shan Cai. She was cuddled in a fetal position, and glistening streams of tears were seen. My heart tugged at this sight. "She spent a lot on these snacks" I heard Xiao You say. Kneeling in front of the sleeping Shan Cai, I wiped away her tears, smoother her hair, and finally scooped her up into my arms. She cuddled up against my chest, and I immediately felt guilty. Shan Cai waited all night for me, and I didn't even once call, nor remember. Walking her to her room, gently lying her on the bed, I tucked her in, smoothed her hair again, I whispered into her ear

"I'm sorry."


	19. I'm Sorry

Chapter 18

I'm Sorry (Lei, Xiao You & Shan Cai's View)

Music: Can I Hold You? - A*Mei

*Lei*

The whole night, I stayed by Shan Cai's bed, nothing could bring me to leave I just couldn't believe that I broke my promise to her. Maybe, if Jing hand;t have come early...no, I can't blame this on Jing. It's no one but me... I'm the one to blame. "I'm sorry Shan Cai, I really am." I whispered to her as she slept. The moonlight spilled into her room and onto her face as her tears still glistened. Did I really mean that much to her?

"Lei?" Xiao You called to me quietly. Turning to look at her, she continued, "I think you should go home?" I didn't want to, but thinking how Shan Cai may react tomorrow... I thought otherwise. Slowly getting up, I leave Shan Cai's room.

As I left Shan Cai's room, I caught Xiao You looking at me with a dangerous glare. "Xiao You, I can explain..." I paused to see if she'll listen. "I was at the rental store when my phone rang. Jing decided to come early, so, I picked her up from the airport, and we started talking... and, well, I lost track of time.

*Xiao You*

So Jing came back early? I'm happy, I really am, but, now that Jing is back, what about Shan Cai? Shan Cai is clearly in love with Lei, but Lei loves Jing. A love triangle has formed... how can I prevent heartbreaks from happening? Both Jing and Shan Cai are my friends.

*Shan Cai*

I woke up with the sun in my face and a headache. I didn't feel like getting up at all today. I didn't want to face the cruel reality. Now that Teng Tang Jing is coming home. I shouldn't be in the way anymore... I should let Hua Zhe Lei and Teng Tang Jing be together. Why did I let myself fall for him? No matter how compassionate he is, or how caring he towards those he really cares for... who wouldn't fall for him? Teng Tang Jing, you are lucky, don't let him go.

*Lei*

I couldn't sleep last night because of the incredible feeling of guilt washed over me. I couldn't believe I did that. If only I weren't side tracked... I promised I wouldn't break her heart... and after learning from Xiao You that feelings are being developed. I know that I can't let her down... I have to make this time up somehow...

All day I've been trying to think of ways to apologize to Shan Cai. But nothing good enough came to me. I couldn't let this whole situation go unsaid. Something had to be done.

*Xiao You*

It's been nearly three days since this whole incident happened. Shan Cai leaves the house here and there, only for school and work, but she won't go out for any other reason. She hasn't gone shopping with me this past weekend either. I haven't heard from Lei either. I figured that he was with Jing, but Jing is currently visiting her father up north.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the doorbell ring. Looking through the little peep-hole, I see Lei slightly hunched over and a tired look in his eyes. "Lei?"

"Is Shan Cai home?" he immediately asked.

I nodded, "she's in her room."

*Lei*

Slowly walking over to the front of Shan Cai's closed door, I lifted my hand to knock. But I was so hesitant... I didn't know what to do. Finally I was able to knock on the door. "Shan Cai?" I called out gently. But no answer. I knocked again, "Shan Cai?" It's me, Hua Zhe Lei. May I come in?" Still no answer.

"She's in there Lei, but I'm not too sure how she's feeling about you..maybe you should some back another day?" Xiao You came and said.

"No, I can't leave things unsaid. This especially, cannot go unsaid." I pressed my palm on Shan Cai's door as I felt myself sink to the floor with a soft thud. "If I can't face her, she's just going to have to listen." I declared. I heard Xiao You's footsteps from a distance as I sat on the floor with my head leaning against the wall. "Shan Cai, I know right now you probably don't even want to see me, but I don't blame you. It's my fault that our movie night was missed. It's my fault for not calling. Everything is my fault. I'm sorry."

*Shan Cai*

Hearing Hua Zhe Lei tell me he's sorry, made all my anger for him disperse. There's no way I can stay mad at him. Lei has done nothing but make me happy. People make mistakes all the time, he's not the only one.

I know he didn't leave yet, so I finally got off my bed and slowly opened the door. There he was sitting to the left of my door. His head drooped, like a wilting flower. But as he heard my shuffling feet, he rose his head up and looked at me. I wanted to avoid his gaze, but I couldn't. He slowly got up and face me directly, and with a weary smile, I told him, "don't say sorry."


	20. Dreading

Chapter 19

Dreading (Jing, Lei, & Shan Cai's View)

Music: No Way to Say – Ayumi Hamasaki

*Jing*

Lei had left so suddenly the night I had returned. I haven't heard from him since... I've been away, up north visiting my father. Maybe I should give him a call? I'll be home in a few days.

Picking up my phone I begin to dial Lei's number.

Once, twice, the phone is finally answered and I hear Lei's weary, but handsome voice, "Wei?"

"Hi Lei, I haven't heard from you in a while, is everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah, I just had to do something that I, well, somehow got side-tracked off of."

"I see, well, I'll be coming back in home in a couple of days. We'll hang out more when I come back, right?"

"Of course," he paused for a second, "I want you to meet someone when you come back first," he said gently.

"Ok, who?"

"My new friend I just made. Xiao You is here too, they became good friends already," he said happily.

"Ok Lei, I'll meet them."

"I have to go Jing, I'll see you soon?"

"Right, I'll give you a call later."

"Ok, bye."

*Lei*

Shan Cai and I are doing better now. She's more cheerful now that the whole incident is behind us. "Was that Teng Tang Jing?"

"Yeah, she's coming back here in a few more days. She's been visiting her father."

"Oh. What's Teng Tang Jing doing in France?" Shan Cai asked almost suddenly.

"She's studying in France to become an attorney."

"An attorney? But why is she in fashion magazines?"

"She used to model, but now she's decided to become an attorney. She told me that she's tired of modeling. So she gave up all her inheritance to defend people."

*Shan Cai*

Listening to Hua Zhe Lei talk about Teng Tang Jing and her dream, made my self-esteem disintegrate less and less. Hua Zhe Lei still wants me to meet Teng Tang Jing, but I honestly did not wan to. Each day passed and Hua Zhe Lei was becoming more and more excited of my meeting Teng Tang Jing. As Hua Zhe Lei continued on of telling me more and more about her, I imagined myself and the upcoming emotions I would face. I tried to prepare myself so when the day came when Hua Zhe Lei would tell me the words I dread to hear, at leas I'll be ready for it. I figured if I practiced more each day, the easier it would be to let go. I've got to let him go someday. "Shan Cai?" I heard Hua Zhe Lei call me.

"Huh?"

"Are you alright? You've been staring into space for a while now." He asked with concern.

"I'm okay. I was just thinking about something."

"What about? You know, anything that's bugging you, you can always tell me." He said as he tried looking at my eyes.

"It's nothing, really. I'm just excited to meet Jing is all," I lied with a fake smile. Hua Zhe Lei's phone rang softly and he quickly answered it. I didn't listen to the conversation, because I already knew who it was; Jing.

"Shan Cai, are you ready to meet Jing?" Hua Zhe Lei asked me with such excitement. 'No, I'll never be ready!' I wanted to scream to him. But instead I gave a nod and a smile and followed him to his car.

Hua Zhe Lei drove us to a huge mansion estate just outside of Taipei. The property was huge and luxurious. The garden was well kept. Hua Zhe Lei stopped the car in front of the grand staircase that led to a large chamber door. We both got out of the car, and there, a beautiful woman stood, waiting to greet us. Hua Zhe Lei rushed over to her and gave her a hug. They embraced and I saw both of their smiles. As I saw how bright Hua Zhe Lei's smile was, my heart was engulfed with jealousy. I wanted to be the one person who brought that smile to his face. The smile that was his most brightest and happiest; I wanted to be the reason why. The two broke their embrace and their arms were looped together. They walked towards me, both smiling and so happy. Each step they took towards me, I could feel my heartbeat beat faster and harder.

"Shan Cai, I'd like you to meet Jing, my girlfriend."


	21. Why Am I Here?

Chapter 20

Why Am I Here? (Shan Cai's View)

Music: Who's That Girl – Hilary Duff

So here she was, Teng Tang Jing. Everything that I imagined her as was nothing compared to the real thing. It's almost as if she stepped out of a fashion magazine, but this time, her arm was looped around the man whom I've helplessly fallen in love with. Teng Tang Jing truly was a stunning woman. She extended her hand out to shake mine. Her skin was soft as I took it. She smiled at me, and I tried as hard as I could to smile back at her. "Hello, Shan Cai," she said. Her voice was melodious as well. I replied back to her in a meek voice and let go of her hand. "It's nice to meet you. I've heard little about you, but I'm glad that I'll be able to get to know you myself." So Hua Zhe Lei rarely spoke of me to Teng Tang Jing... I knew it; he was slowly starting to forget about me.

"Why don't we all go somewhere where we can all talk more?" suggested Hua Zhe Lei. Teng Tang Jing nodded her head in agreement and made her way over to the car. She stopped then looked at me.

"Would you like to sit up in front?" she offered with the door held open.

"No, it's okay. I'll sit in the back," I told her as I opened the back door. I sat myself in the middle, pulled my seatbelt on and sat quietly. Hua Zhe Lei got into the driver's side and started the car. He drove us to a nearby lounge bar. I almost didn't want to go in because I wasn't properly dressed for such an environment. We walked into the elegant building and into a VIP room. We sat down on the lush sofas and ordered some food. Hua Zhe Lei and Teng Tang Jing sat together on one sofa, and I was alone on another. I was extremely uncomfortable sitting there. They talked to each other non-stop, and I continued to just sit there. I didn't want to be here, I wanted to just go home and start looking for a new place to live. Find a place far from Hua Zhe Lei and Teng Tang Jing.

"Shan Cai," I heard Teng Tang Jing's voice. I looked up and over at her. "Tell me about yourself. I've heard from Lei that you and Xiao You became fast friends. Xiao You must really see something special in you to become such fast friends with you."

"Me?" I asked stupidly. She nodded her head and gave me a look as if to begin talking. "Uh, well, I..." I didn't know what to say. Everything that I could possibly tell her would sound so juvenile compared to what she's done. "What do you want to know?" I simply asked. I honestly didn't know what to tell her.

"Tell me how you and Lei met," she said with eyes sparkling. I glanced over at Hua Zhe Lei, who wasn't at all paying attention at all of what I was about to say. His eyes were focused on Teng Tang Jing, lovingly gazing at her.

"Um... Hua Zhe Lei and I," I started. I told Teng Tang Jing about the day we met in Chemistry class and how Hua Zhe Lei had became my friend. I left out the parts of where he promised he would never break my heart and our movie night that he missed because of her.

"Sounds interesting," she said. She then turned to look at Hua Zhe Lei. He was still gazing at her. "Lei!" she pushes his head playfully, "stop that!" she then giggled, and smiled. I couldn't stand another minute being here; I had to leave.

"I have to go." I said as I stood up. I turned for the door.

"Want us to bring you home?" I heard Teng Tang Jing say to me. I turned my head to look at both of them. She looked at me, waiting for an answer, while Hua Zhe Lei still tuned everything else out.

I shook my head, "I'll let you two talk. It's not that late or dark out, I'll be okay on my own." With that said, I left the VIP from and ran all the way home.

I got home and threw myself on my bed. My tears fell each second as I felt my heart breaking. My heart cried for Hua Zhe Lei's attention and love. I wanted so much to be in Teng Tang Jing's place; to be in his arms, to be gazed at lovingly, to be told 'I love you'... I wanted it all so much. How am I ever going to be able to get over the face that I'll never heave my chance with someone like him. I cried in silence that whole night as my heart continued to break.

The next day came and I decided to look for another school to transfer to. With my grades, I'm sure I can transfer anywhere else, I'm sure I can transfer anywhere else I wanted. The only thing to look for is to see which school would be far enough from Hu Zhe Lei. I looked at a lot of school over in the United States. Would that be far enough? I filled out of the applications and hoped that I would get in. I need to leave s soon as possible.


	22. Change of Plans

Chapter 21

Change of Plans (Lei and Shan Cai's View)

Music: Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis

*Lei*

Since Jing has been hone, I've been spending aall my time with her. She returns to France at the end of the month, so I'm taking advantage of this time. I'm so happy that she's home for the time being.

For the first few days she's been home from visiting her father, we've been touring Taipei and walking down memory lane. We visited our old high school, and Ying De. I showed her where my classes were for the semester. "Is this the Chemistry class you and Shan Cai met in?" Jing asked as she looked through the window. I looked through another window and realized that it was indeed the same classroom she and I met at. I looked over at the lab table she and I sat at together, doing our lab work. I then imagined her sad face.

Right as I thought about Shan Cai's sad face, my heart suddenly felt sad. I then thought back to the day I introduced her to Jing; how quiet she was, how she left suddenly... I haven't heard from her in a few days... "Lei?" Jing's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking about something."

I called Shan Cai up after I brought Jing home. I asked her if I could come over, and she reluctantly said yes. I drove over to her apartment and lightly knocked on her door. A few minutes later, she finally answered the door and let me in. She looked as if she hadn't slept in days, and her eyes were puffy. Has she been crying? "How have you been?" I asked.

*Shan Cai*

'How have I been?' I've been terrible. I haven't been able to sleep a full night since I met Teng Tang Jing. "I'm okay," I told him, "how's Teng Tang Jing?"

"She's fine. I'm sad that she has to go back to France soon," he paused, then spoke again. "You busy this week?"

"Just the usual. School and work."

"Let's go have lunch tomorrow. I'll look for you after your class."

"Sure, whatever you want," I told him, almost in a monotone voice. He gave a small smile and told me goodnight.

The next day came and I tried to not get my hopes up with my lunch with Hua Zhe Lei. I went to my first few classes, and when the last one ended, I slowly left my class.

"Shan Cai," I heard Hua Zhe Lei's voice. I turned my head to follow the voice. I saw him leaning against a pillar looking over at me. He gave me a small smile and walked towards me. "Ready to go to lunch?" I slowly nodded my head and followed him to his car. As we drove to a place where I thought was too expensive, I decided to finally voice my opinion.

"I don't want to eat here."

"Why not?" he asked me confused.

"It's too expensive."

"It's alright, I'll pay-"

"No. I just, don't want to eat here," I said firmly, "can we please go somewhere else?"

"Sure. Where would you like to go?" He asked me, still confused. He looked at me and waited for an answer. Instead of answering him, I got out of the car and started walking the opposite direction. I heard Hua Zhe Lei get out of the car and calling out my name, "Shan Cai!" He finally caught up with me and grabbed my arm to stop me. "Shan Cai, what's the matter?"

"Nothing. I'm just looking for a different place to eat," I told him innocently. I just kept walking and looking for a good place to eat. You don't need fancy restaurants to enjoy a good meal. I then stopped in front of a small cafe that had petite sandwiches. "Here looks good." I walked in and sat myself at a small round table. Hua Zhe Lei sat acroos from me, still having a confused look on his face. I grabbed a menu and looked through it.

"Shan Cai, are you alright?" Hua Zhe Lei asked again.

*Lei*

Shan Cai was acting awfully strange. We are at that small cafe; I was going to pull out my wallet, but Shan Cai beat me to it. She paid for us and quickly left the cafe. I followed her and tried to read her body language. On that street were small shops and boutiques. Shan Cai let me in some of the shops. She darted here and there, picking up items and admiring them. I watched her as she did this. She then stopped in front of a large advertisement for a show that was showing for one night only; this Saturday. "That looks like a good show to see," she said. She then glanced down and saw how much the tickets were. Her eyes grew wide, then turned sad. "Maybe it'll come again some other time." Shan Cai then started walking away from the advertisement. "Hua Zhe Lei, please bring me home?"

"Sure." We got into my car, and drove to her apartment. She got out of my car, said 'thank you', and walked to her door.

I went back over to the shop that was selling the tickets for that show. I bought two tickets and headed for home. I was going to surprise Shan Cai the day of the show. I got home and laid myself on my bed, thinking of Shan Cai and her behavior today. She really was acting strange. From a distance I heard the doorbell chiming throughout the mansion. One of my maids came through my door, and Jing was right behind them. "Hi, Lei."

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked with a surprised look.

"I missed you. I wanted to have dinner," she then walked over to my dresser that had a mirror above it. She fixed herself up, then glanced down at my dresser, "Lei! You got tickets! I was trying to get these, but it sold out minutes before I called for them. I want to see this show so bad! I'm glad you got them. Now we can go together!"


	23. Overhearing

Chapter 22

Overing Hearing (Everyone's View)

Music: Only Friends – As One

*Lei*

Jing wanted to see the show as well. What am I to do? I really want to take Shan Cai, but I can't say 'no' to Jing. Jing looked so happy once she saw I had tickets. The happiness in her eyes, her smile; all were priceless. I never want to see Jing sad or disappointed. I don't know what to do. "Lei? Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah..." Maybe I should tell Jing the truth?

"What is it Lei? You look like there really is something wrong," Jing walked over to me and tried to read my expression.

"Well, it's just that, I was going to take Shan Cai. She wants to see it too, but she couldn't afford it. I was going to surprise her the day of the show," I held my breath after I finished, waiting for what Jing had to say.

"Oh," her eyes became disappointed, and she walked from me and over to my window. She looked out and stayed quiet.

"Jing?"

"It's alright, Lei. Maybe it'll come again someday," she turned and tried to give me an 'I'm okay' expression. But I knew Jing. She was truly disappointed that I wasn't planning on taking her to the show.

"No, it's not alright. I can see how much you want to see this show, even if you don't show that you don't mind. I'll take you to that show. I promise. I can take Shan Cai to other things." I told Jing. But inside, I knew I was breaking Shan Cai's heart. These tickets were meant for her, yet I'm taking someone else.

*Xiao You*

Shan Cai and I are out shopping, just like every Saturday. Shan Cai was the same, always staying quiet and protesting against trying on expensive clothes. Today we are in a book store browsing around. I head over to some romance novels, while Shan Cai wanders over to the self-guided section. I watch her and wonder what's on her mind. I then see her staring at an advertisement for a show that's showing only tonight. She looks like she really wants to see it, since she's been staring at it for quite some time. I put my book down and head over to the cashier. "Excuse me, but I'd like two tickets to that show."

"You're in luck. This show was sold out, but someone returned their's just a few minutes ago."

"Wow, thanks!" I said in delight. I took the tickets and headed over to Shan Cai who was till looking at the poster, "Shan Cai, look." She turned and looked at me, "I got tickets to that show. Lucky us, they're the last two!" Shan Cai shared my delight and we squealed at the fact that it was nearly sold out, and we got the last two. "Come on, let's go home and get ready/"

We headed for home and got ready for the show. I got myself all dressed up, but Shan Cai wasn't. "Shan Cai? Why aren't you dressing up?"

"I don't have anything. I've never had any reason to keep a formal dress."

"Shan Cai! Why didn't you say something? We could have gotten a dress for you earlier today!" I scolded her. I walked over to my closet and tried looking for a dress that she could borrow. Unfortunately I couldn't find one that I would think would suit her. Running out of time, I thought of different possible ways to get Shan Cai a dress. I then thought of one person, "Jing! Jing will surely have a dress you could borrow." I picked up my phone and called up Jing.

*Jing*

I was getting ready to go out with Lei tonight. I then heard my phone ring. It was Xiao You, "Hello?"

"Hi, Jing. It's me, Xiao You!" I heard her voice.

"Hi, Xiao You. How are you?"

"I'm okay. Are you home right now?"

"Yeah I am. Why do you ask?"

"I need a favor from you. Shan Cai and I are going out tonight and she needs a dress. You think we can come over and look at some?"

"Sure. You can comer over right now. I'll be glad to help." We hung up and I went over to my closet and started pulling some dresses for Shan Cai. Moments later, Xiao You and Shan Cai were in my room.

*Shan Cai*

Xiao You brought us to Teng Tang Jing's house. I followed Xiao You through the halls and into Teng Tang Jing's room. There, Teng Tang Jing had several dresses out and hanging. Xiao You and Teng Tang Jing hugged and then walked over to the dresses. I followed them and gazed at all the elegant dresses. Teng Tang Jing had so many. Xiao You put some up against me, trying to figure out which would be the best on me. I didn't think any of them would look good on me. "Here Shan Cai, go try this on," Xiao you said as she pushed me into Teng Tang Jing's adjoining bathroom.

*Xiao You*

As Shan Cai was changing, Jing went back over to her vanity and continued applying make-up. "What are you all dressed up for?" I asked her.

"Lei and I are going out tonight," she said as she applied mascara.

"Oh. Where are you two going?"

"We're seeing that show tonight. Lei was able to get tickets."

*Shan Cai*

I put on the dress and looked at myself in the full length mirror. It was a long white halter gown, with a sweetheart front. It looked very elegant. I pulled the hem up as I prepared myself to show Xiao You. As I started opening the door, I heard Xiao You and Teng Tang Jing mention Hua Zhe Lei. "We're seeing that show tonight. Lei was able to get tickets," I heard Teng Tang Jing say. "Where are you two going?"

"We're seeing that show too!" squealed Xiao You.

"Really? I'm so relieved! Don't tell Shan Cai, but Lei actually bought those tickets for him and Shan Cai. When I found out her had tickets, I assumed that they were for us. But he then told me the truth, and I guess, I let out a disappointed look that made Lei feel guilty. He the told me that he could always do something else some other time with her, and promised to take me. I felt guilty that I basically stole those tickets from Shan Cai since I heard that she wanted to see the show too. But I'm so glad that she's able to see it now. Hey! We should all sit together! It's a win-win situation!"

"...yeah... we should..." I heard Xiao You.

So Hua Zhe Lei wanted to take me to the show? And yet he still chose Teng Tang Jing over me. I guess she really is more important. She will always fill Hua Zhe Lei's heart.

"Shan Cai? Are you ready?" I heard Xiao You call out to me.

"Yeah... I'm coming out."


	24. The Secret's Out

Chapter 23

The Secret's Out (Jing, Shan Cai & Lei's View)

Secret of My Heart – 倉木麻衣

*Jing*

I was so happy when Xiao You told me that she and Shan Cai got tickets to the show. I know those tickets that Lei bought were originally for Shan Cai, but now I don't have to feel guilty about taking them from her. "Shan Cai? Are you ready?" Xiao You called to Shan Cai.

"Yeah... I'm coming out," I heard Shan Cai say in a sorrowful tone. She walked out of my bathroom and out with the dress on. But what caught my attention most was her sad face.

"You look great, Shan Cai! You should wear that dress tonight!" exclaimed Xiao You. Shan Cai's face looked as if she were about to cry. Why was she so sad?

"Shan Cai? Are alright?" I asked her worriedly. She nodded 'yes' and stood still. I looked at her puzzled. I then decided to shrug it off and change the topic. "Come, let's do your hair and make up." I got up from my vanity stool and guided Shan Cai over to sit. She slowly sat down and I started brushing her hair. "You have very soft hair. How long did it take for you to grow it out this long?" I tried making conversation with her.

"One year," she answered.

"Ah. You kept your hair well kept. It's very healthy," I continued to brush her hair.

*Shan Cai*

Teng Tang Jing was so beautiful. She didn't need fancy clothes or make up. As she brushed my hair, all I could think about was how Hua Zhe Lei had chosen Teng Tang Jing to accompany him to a show that he knew I wanted to see. 'He can take me to other shows?' When is that ever going to happen? I was slowly dying inside, because slowly, I was slowly dying inside, because slowly, I was being erased inside his Hua Zhe Lei's mind.

Teng Tang Jing continued dolling me up for the show. She gave my hair soft waves, and applied light make up to my face. She then gave me shoes that matched the dress. Finally, I was all ready for the show. "You look very beautiful, Shan Cai," Teng Tang Jing said with a smile.

"Thank You, Teng Tang Jing," I forced a smile.

"Please don't call me by my full name, Shan Cai, please call me Jing. We're friends, not strangers."

I nodded my head in obedience, "thank you, Jing Xue Jie."

Xiao You then clapped her hands together, "Ok, since you're all ready, we have to get back home so that I can get ready," she said nervously.

"Xiao You, you can let Shan Cai stay here while you get ready. It'd be a good opportunity for Shan Cai and I to get to know each other better," suggested Jing Xue Jie. I wanted to scream out, 'No!' I really didn't want to stare into the eyes of something I wanted to be.

"Um, okay... I'll be back then..." and with that, Xiao You let me alone with Jing Xue Jie.

Jing Xue Jie looks at me and begins to make conversation again, "Xiao You tells me that you and her are seeing that one night only show tonight."

"Yeah, we got the last two tickets," I said with my head low.

"Shan Cai, you need to look at people when you talk to them. A pretty girl like you shouldn't hide their face," she leaned closer to me and lifted my chin up, "You need to smile more too. I bet you have a very beautiful smile as well," Jing Xue Jie gave me her brightest smile. "Lei and I are seeing that show too. We should all sit together."

"Yeah... we should..."

*Lei*

I was getting ready to take Jing to the show. As I was putting on my coat, I thought of nothing but Shan Cai's sad face. I was somewhat happy that Shan Cai didn't find out what I've done; taking Jing to a show that was meant for Shan Cai. This will just have to be my little secret.

I drove over to Jing's house, and once I parked in front, I noticed Xiao You's car. What was she doing here? As I was about to approach the car, Xiao You stepped out wearing a short black dress. She looked at me in an almost daggering look. I looked back at her with a confused look, "What are you doing here?" I asked innocently.

"I can't believe you," she state. Now I was really confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"How can you choose Jing over Shan Cai? You know Shan Cai wanted to see the show, and instead you choose Jing! I'm sorry Lei, but Jing has had the luxury of seeing such extravagant things. Why can't Shan Cai experience those things as well?"

"My eyes grew wide out of shock. I grabbed Xiao You's shoulders, "you can't tell Shan Cai! If she found out, she'd never look at me again. Please, please don't tell her," I begged. "How do you even know this?"

"Shan Cai and I will be at that show too. We came to Jing's place because Shan Cai needed a dress. While Shan Cai was changing in Jing's bathroom, Jing told me everything. She asked me not to tell Shan Cai either. Shan Cai is with Jing now, helping her get ready," I let go of Xiao You's shoulders knowing that my secret was out," I still can't believe you," she said with disappointment in her voice. She brushed past me and went into Jing's house. I watched after her, then slowly went inside.

Soon, I was in front of Jing's door to her room. I was scared of what I would find... I was worried if Xiao You went against me and told Shan Cai. I lightly knocked on the door, and held my breath. "Come in," I heard Jing. I opened the door and found Jing standing at her vanity, blocking my view of the woman sitting on the stool. "Hi Lei! Guess what? Xiao You and Shan Cai will be at the show too!" Jing then stepped to the side and revealed Shan Cai.

At that moment, my heart stopped. Shan Cai looked so beautiful.


	25. Tears

Chapter 24

Tears (Lei, Xiao You, and Shan Cai's View)

Music: Tears – Park Rong Hae

*Lei*

The moment I saw Shan Cai, my heart almost stopped. She looked so beautiful. Her dress was simple, just like her. It suit her so well. My eyes traveled to her face. I can't believe I'm saying this, but she looks beautiful when she cries. Even though I want nothing more than to bring a smile to her face, she's still beautiful when she's sad. "You look beautiful, Shan Cai," I heard myself say. She slightly looked up at me and muttered 'thank you'. It was then I realized her behavior. Normally she would looks straight at me and address me, but she didn't this time. Could it be that she knows? God, I hope not.

"Well, now that we're all here and ready, let's all go together," Jing spoke with excitement. She went out to her closet and grabbed a clutch purse and a coat, 'let's go!" She looped her around mine and led me out the door. I turned my head to look at Shan Cai. She was till sitting on the stool with Xiao You kneeling down net to her. I wanted to go back and see what was wrong. But for now, I'm just going to have to ask her about it after the show.

The car ride to the theatre was uncomfortably quiet. Jing tried as hard as she could to get us all to talk, but Xiao You was the only one responding. I looked into my rearview mirror and at Shan Cai. She was sadly staring out the window as the gleam of the street lights flashed past her face. Xiao You's face was a look of worry and disappointment at the same time. I knew she was mad at me, but I can't change the past.

Finally, we arrived at the theatre. I gave my keep to the valet and walked the girls into the building.

*Xiao You*

Shan Cai was so quiet the whole car ride. Once we all got into the theatre, I looped my arm around Shan Cai's to try to put her at ease. She was nearly trembling. She and I handed over our tickets and went ahead of Jing and Lei. I looked back at them and noticed that Lei's face was almost as solemn as Shan Cai's. I hope he feels guilt. I can't believe he chose Jing over Shan Cai.

Jing, with her around looped around Lei's, found four seats up in a balcony. Jing, arranged our seating; Me, Shan Cai, Lei, and her. If only Jing knew, how much Shan Cai loved Lei, and to watch these two ignore their feelings was heartbreaking. If only Jing knew, maybe she'd let go of Lei. Sometimes I think Jing deserves better, and she shouldn't be weighted down by Lei, waiting for her constantly... and Lei can only wait for so long. I think it's time for both of them to move on.

The performance felt as if it was dragging on and on. I kept looking back and forth at Lei and Shan Cai wasn't. Her hands were gripping her dress, wrinkling it, and her face looked as if she were holding back tears. And as if she was about to explode, she suddenly got up and almost tipped over me as she scrambled to leave the balcony. I hastily got up to follow her, but Lei was already right behind her.

*Lei*

I followed Shan Cai as ran out of the theatre. "Shan Cai!" I called out to her, trying to coax her to stop, but she ran even faster each time I called out her name. I quickened my pace and finally caught up to her. I then grabbed her arm and spun her around to face me. I then saw her tear stained face, "Shan Cai," I said softly, "what's wrong? Why did you run so suddenly, and why are you crying?" She avoided eye contact with me and continued to let tears fall. She tried to struggle out of my grip but I wasn't giving up this time, "Shan Cai! Stop it!" I got her attention this time, and she looked directly at me. We kept a firm eye contact with each other. Slowly, my look went from firm to soft. I then took her hand and led her to a secluded area. I was getting to the bottom of this. "What's wrong, Shan Cai?" I asked gently.

"Nothing's wrong," she said bluntly.

"Shan Cai, don't lie to me. Tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing! Just leave me alone!" she swiftly turned and ran out of the theatre and into the streets. I chased after her still, and caught her again. This time, I pulled her into my embrace, and there, she finally let out her tears. She was wailing and trembling violently. I just held my ground and held her tightly. I waited for her to calm down.

"Tell me what's wrong," I repeated.

"I can't stop crying," she said choking.

"Then let it out first," and she did right after I spoke my last word. She gripped me tightly, as I felt her tears soak through my shirt. As if it seemed like hours, Shan Cai finally calmed down, "are you ready to tell me?"

"I heard about you're secret for tonight..." she began. My eyes widened as I silently cursed myself. I didn't know what say. What could I say? "I'm not expecting you to explain myself. I'm trying as hard as I can to just not be so emotional over it." Shan Cai continued wiping away tears while I tried to think of something to say.

"Shan Cai, I-"

"It's okay, Hua Zhe Lei. Don't think about it anymore," she said and turned towards the sidewalk. I watched her hail a cab and get in. The cab drove away and disappeared into the busy streets.

*Shan Cai*

As I was sitting in the cab, being driven back to my apartment, I kept thinking about leaving behind this painful life, and start over elsewhere. I want so much to leave. The cab driver interrupted my thoughts, telling me that we've arrived. I paid him and slowly, walked up to my apartment. I noticed that neither me nor Xiao You picked yo iur mail, so I opened the mailbox and pulled out the envelopes of which I assumed all to be bills. I sifted through them and realized that none of them were bills. I went inside and dumped them on the coffee table. I opened one after another. Soon, almost all six of these envelopes had the same thing written on them:

'Shan Cai

Congratulations! We are please to inform you that you have been accepted into our university.'


	26. A New Friend

Chapter 25

A New Friend (Shan Cai and Lei's View)

Music: Breathe Again – Juwita Suwito

*Shan Cai*

I stared at all the acceptance letters with shock. This must be a big sign. A sign for me to really leave and forget about Hua Zhe Lei. I have to make my decision quick, the deadline is in less than two months. I picked up all the letters and took them to my room. I gently laid them down onto my desk and decided to make my decision so I can begin planning for my departure. I applied to mainly American schools. I'd have a better opportunity over there than if I stayed in Taiwan. I hope my English is still as sharp as it was back in high school.

It was hard making a decision. I didn't know which school would be the best, nor did I know which was far enough. I got up from my desk and decided to change out of Jing Xue Jie's dress. I slipped out of it and removed the hair clips out of my hair, and hastily smudged the make up off my face. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw an image of Jing Xue Jie's face next to mine. I could see her perfect smile, beautiful brown eyes, and soft skin. She was so beautiful, whereas I was as plain as bread. There was no way Hua Zhe Lei would look at me the way he looked at her . I stepped into the shower and turned the water to hot, I let the hot water blend in with my hot tears as I felt them skipping down my cheeks. I cried as I wrapped my arms around my body; trying to comfort myself, because after today, I'm completely on my own.

The next day cane and as usual, Hua Zhe Lei came to the apartment to pick me up to go to school. I had a feeling that he wanted to talk about last night. I honestly didn't want to. I didn't want to be reminded about how I'm not on his priority list. "Shan Cai, I can't ignore last night. I want to talk this out," Hua Zhe Lei started. We were walking along the outdoor halls of school, slowly dragging our feet. I tried to avoid his topic, but he kept being persistent, I wasn't getting away from it.

"Hua Zhe Lei, really, it's okay. Jing Xue Jie is your girlfriend. You should have taken her in the first place. I can see other shows. It's no big deal. I'm laughing at myself for even crying," I let out a fake chuckle. We continued to walk the halls slowly. Hua Zhe Lei suddenly stopped me.

"Shan Cai, I know you better than you think. When you lie, you let out a nervous laugh and your arms straighten at your side. I know I'm not supposed to push you and give you your space, but I really can't ignore what had happened last night. I apologize for not telling you, and I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way about my little secret, but if you let me, I'm willing to make it up to you. Will you allow me to?" Hua Zhe Lei almost pleaded. I just wanted this all to get past me.

I let out a sigh of defeat, "okay. If it will make you feel better," I said to him. I then continued walking the halls. I could feel that Hua Zhe Lei was straggling behind me, watching my every move. "I'm going to class," I called out, and picked up my pace as I headed for my next class.

As the lecture went on and on, I kept thinking about all the acceptance letters that I received the other night. I really need to start planning. The sooner I leave, the better. "Excuse me, you dropped your pencil." A voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I turned my head ans saw my classmate, Qing He, hand me my pencil.

"Thanks," I said as I took it from him.

"You okay?" he asked me, "you seem deep in thought."

"I'm okay. I was just thinking of something. I just recently got accepted into several universities overseas," I explained.

"Wow, that's great to hear. Where overseas?"

"America."

"No way! That's where I'm from. I'm actually studying here in Taiwan for the semester. Have you decided what school yet?"

"Somewhere around New York maybe. I'm not sure yet."

"Well, if you're ever in the Southwest area, like Los Angeles, that's where I'll be. I go home this summer. Let me know when you decide," Qing He told me with excitement. He scribbled his number down and handed it to me, "you heading over to the canteen?"

"Yeah."

"I'll join you." He got up after me and walked with me to the canteen.

"So how do you like it here in Taiwan? Were you born here?"

"Nope, I'm an American born. I like it here. I was worried about my Mandarin before I got here."

"It sounds fine to me. Like a native speaker," I smiled.

"Thanks," he smiled back.

"You like it here better than America?"

"People are more friendly here than LA, in my opinion," we then sat down and ate our snacks.

"Are the schools good?" I asked me.

"I think so. I love my school, but it was nice to be able to do some traveling."

Qing He and I talked and talked. We laughed here and there as well. I was surprised at myself for opening up to someone so quick. He's so easy to talk to.

*Lei*

I was roaming the streets for a floral shop while Shan Cai was in class. I wanted to be there for her when her class got out with a small bouquet of flowers. I finally found a shop and made my purchase. I then made my way back to school, but noticed that Shan Cai's class had been let out early. I then looked for Shan Cai over at the canteen. As I searched for her, I heard a female voice call out to me, "Lei!" It was Jing once again, "hi Lei!" she said as she embraced me. She then noticed the flowers, "oh Lei, you remembered!" she said with a huge smile, and took the flowers from me.

"Remembered?"

"Today's our anniversary, remember?"

"Oh... right..." 'Shit' I thought to myself and turned my head. Once I turned my head, I saw Shan Cai. But she was not alone. She was with someone else; she was with another guy, and she was smiling...

I felt my heart suddenly drop.


	27. Time is Ticking

Chapter 26

Time is Ticking (Lei and Shan Cai's View)

Music: One – Epik High

*Lei*

Seeing Shan Cai with another person, and smiling, tugged at my heart. Seeing her laugh and smile is always something I want to see from her. But to see her laughing and smiling with another person... why am I feeling like this? I shouldn't be... someone has found a way to make her smile, I should be happy for her... I guess I wish it were me, "Lei? What are you looking at?" Jing asked me. She then followed my stare, and she too spotted Shan Cai, "Hey, look! It's Shan Cai! Let's go join her," She then took my hand and led me over to the table Shan Cai was sitting at, "Hi!" Jing greeted them with excitement.

"Oh, hi Jing Xue Jie," Shan Cai said out of surprise.

"Who's your friend?"

"Oh, this is Qing He. He's from America, studying abroad."

"Oh wow! That's really interesting," Jing turned her attention to Shan Cai's new friend, "how do you like Taiwan?"

"It's very nice," he answered.

"Are you here for a while?"

"I actually go home this summer. I'm only studying for one semester," he finished off.

Jing then turned and looked at me, "this is my boyfriend, Hua Zhe Lei."

"Nice to meet you," Qing He extended his hand out to shake mine. I slowly extended my mine and shook his. I put on a fake smile, hiding my slight jealousy. Jing and I sat down at their table and talked a little more. Jing again did most of the talking, but this time, Shan Cai was joining in. She was freely speaking and joining the conversations. I guess she's starting to open up.

*Shan Cai*

Jing Xue Jie and Hua Zhe Lei sat down and joined Qing He and I. Jing Xue Jie was talking the most, while Qing He and I answered and commented on what she said. Soon, they both got up from the table, "well it was nice talking to you two."

"Yeah, it was nice meeting you. By the way, those are some real nice flowers," Qing He pointed to the flowers in Jing Xue Jie's hands.

"Thanks. They're from Lei. Today is our seventh anniversary," Jing Xue Jie smiled brightly. My eyes widened a little. Today, they've been together for seven years. Nothing could possibly tear them apart. Hua Zhe Lei is so loyal to Jing Xue Jie.

"Congratulations!" I heard Qing He say.

"Thank you. We better be going. Bye, bye Shan Cai. I'm sure Lei and I will see you later," Jing Xue Jie started to walk away with Hua Zhe Lei at her side. I watched their backs as they walked away.

"You okay Shan Cai?"

"Yeah... I'm okay."

"You like Hua Zhe Lei don't you?" Qing He suddenly said.

"What?" I freaked out. Am I that obvious? "How can you say that?" I asked, very curious.

"The way you looked at him when he approached us with Jing. The way you eyes widened when I mentioned the flowers and hearing that today is their anniversary. I can tell that you have some real feelings for him. Why won't you tell him how you feel?"

"No. Hua Zhe Lei is a good man. Even if I did tell him, there's no way he'd be with me. You saw the flowers for Jing Xue Jie. I'm sure he has something special planned for them tonight."

"Shan Cai, you shouldn't doubt yourself. Don't hold anything back. Just tell him how you feel. Who knows, he might have a feeling back."

"Even if I did, our relationship would fall apart. I don't want to risk our friendship for my own feelings."

*Lei*

Jing and I were in my car. I was pretending to drive us to our fake dinner reservations. Jing was delicately playing with each flower petal as she smiled brightly. "Thank you Lei, for the flowers. They really are beautiful."

"You're welcome," I cringed slightly. 'Those flower were supposed to be for Shan Cai,' I wanted to say to her. But I can't ruin our anniversary, even though I myself already forgot about it.

"Where are we going for dinner?" Jing asked with curiosity.

I had to think fast. I can't believe I forgot that today is our anniversary. I'm sure she's expecting something really special... "how about your favorite restaurant?"

"That sounds nice. Brings back memories doesn't it?" I pulled up to the restaurant and escorted her to the entrance. Table for two. Jing and I sat down as she laid the flowers across the table. Every time she brought up the flowers, my hear would throb with guilt because these flowers were meant for Shan Cai. I don't know how to fulfill my promise to Shan Cai with Jing being home. I don't want my optimistic attitude of Jing's leaving to go back to school confuse anything, but I will surely have more time to spend with Shan Cai once that happens. I hope Shan Cai doesn't think that I'm ignoring her. I love Jing, I really do. She's the love of my life. But Shan Cai... there's something about her that makes her very different than anyone else. "So what are you gonna order?" Jing asked me as she was looking at the menu.

"I guess my usual."

"I think I'm going to order something else this time," she then looked at me from the menu, "what else do you have planned for us?" Jing continued to ask.

"Anything you want to do, Jing," I tried to cover myself. I really didn't have anything planned. While she thought about it, I thought of other things I could do to make up lost time with Shan Cai.


	28. Please Listen

Chapter 27

Please Listen (Shan Cai and Lei's View)

Music: Promise – Vanessa Hudgens

*Shan Cai*

Qing He talked more about how I shouldn't hold in my feelings for Hua Zhe Lei. I listened to what he had t o say, but it was hard to take in his advice and criticism. Things are so much more complicated when dealing with a guy whom you've helplessly fell for, and he has a girlfriend whom he loves whole-heartedly. Can't he understand that you can't break apart two people who love each other? "Shan Cai, you really should say something. What have you got to lose?"

"My friendship," I answered. I wouldn't give up my friendship with Hua Zhe Lei for anything. It's the the best thing that's ever been mine. I treasure our friendship more that anything.

"Shan Cai, let me tell you a story. When I was in high school, there was a girl whom I had a crush on. I already knew she had a boyfriend, but I still became a good friend of hers. Whenever she had a problem going on with her life, I was always there to listen and help her out. Because I was always there for her, she soon realized that I was the person who she should end up being with. But she never said anything, and let our friendship stay the way that it was."

"But... how does that solve dilemma? She's doing exactly as I am," I confronted.

"Let me finish. She decided one day that she had to tell me the truth. But when she came to tell me, she heard that I had a girlfriend. Sad truth is, I gave up waiting for her and found another. She and I are still friends, and we still talk."

"Will you ever let her have another chance?"

"Maybe, we'll see. But I'm telling you, that you should tell Hua Zhe Lei how you feel before he starts pulling out wedding rings. If you tell him how you feel, and based off what you've told me about your friendship with him, he's got a lot to think about. He needs to figure out who he cares for more. He may say he loves Jing, but is that coming out whole-heartedly? You'll never know unless you try, Shan Cai. I honestly say, go for it." Qing He was right. I really should just take the risk... but I really don't want to risk our friendship. Hua Zhe Lei has worked hard to help me and help me trust others... I can't do it... I can't destroy our friendship. I walked myself home since I'm sure Hua Zhe Lei and Jing Xue Jie are out celebrating their seventh anniversary. I thought of my acceptance letters, and thought that I needed to make my decision soon. I also thought about Hua Zhe Lei... he has taught me to trust others again. He has taught me that it's okay and that I don't have to be afraid anymore. I think now, I can leave him behind and learn to be the once independent person I was.

I got home and noticed Xiao You was home as well, "hi Shan Cai," she greeted me. I replied back and went to my room and shut the door. I pulled out my desk drawer and scooped up all the acceptance letters. I spread them all across my bed and decided to make my decision right then and there.

*Lei*

After our dinner, Jing and I went for a night walk in the park. She and I held hands as we strolled through nature's beauty. Jing rested her head on my shoulder as we continued to walk. She still held onto the flowers. I couldn't stand looking at guilt. I couldn't concentrate... I really shouldn't be thinking about that. I should be concentrating on Jing. "Are you okay, Lei?" Jing asked me softly.

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"You've been acting weird since dinner."

I sighed. I can't hide anything from Jing. "I know I've been quiet lately, but the truth is Jing, I forgot that today was our anniversary, and those flowers were actually for Shan Cai. I'm sorry. It's just that I noticed Shan Cai was looking really sad lately, and I wanted to bring her flowers to cheer her up," I told Jing the truth. Her stare at me was a look of surprise. Then it slowly softened.

"It's alright Lei. You are the kind of man to make a girl smile. You can just tell me, I'll understand," Jing said with a soft smile. I felt slightly better after I told Jing the truth, but I was still thinking about Shan Cai. "Lei?" Jing spoke again, "I'm leaving to go back to France in a few days. Will you see me off?"

"Of course I will," I told her with a reassuring look, "I'll even drive you there."

"Thanks Lei," she gave me a peek on the lips and asked me to bring her home. Once I dropped Jing off at her home, I called Shan Cai's apartment. Xiao You answered and I asked her if Shan Cai was home. She told me that she is, and that she locked herself in her room. I decided to head over there to see what's wrong. But before I did, I went back to another floral shop and bought another bouquet of flowers.

I knocked on the door of their apartment and to my surprise, Shan Cai opened the door. We greeted each other and I handed her the flowers. "Thank you, but shouldn't you be with Jing Xue Jie?"

"I brought her home. She was tired. I'm here to see you now," I calmly said.

"But what are you doing here? It's late."

"I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm doing fine."

"I'm glad. Xiao You told me you were in your room all night."

"I was studying."

"Oh. Well, I just wanted to see how you were doing. I'm always here for you."

"Okay, thanks for the flowers, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at school."

"Do you want me to pick you up?" I offered.

"No thanks. I can walk," she said proudly.

"Okay... tomorrow, you and I are going to spend some time together. I promise." I then left her apartment and drove myself home. I thought about some possible things Shan Cai and I could do together. I've got a lot to make up for.


	29. Too Good

Chapter 28

Too Good

Music: Never Ever by Ciara

*Lei*

As I left Shan Cai's apartment, I thought more about what I could do for Shan Cai. I really did have a lot of time to make up for. The next day creeped up on me, and soon the clock struck nine. I let Shan Cai walk herself to school, and I had to prepare for the afternoon. I got up from my bed, dressed myself in my best clothes, and made my way out the door. I hit the streets of Taipei and looked at all the possible opportunities for Shan Cai and I could spend time at. I saw some shows that were playing tonight, good international restaurants and so much more. I looked at some of the shows and thought that maybe we could see a show and then have dinner. After I chose a show for us to see, I bought tickets and continued my search for a good restaurant.

After I finished my search, I headed over to school to see if I could catch up with Shan Cai. I caught her after her first class, "Shan Cai!" I called to her. She turned and acknowledged me as I approached her. As I approached her, I reached into my pocket and pulled out pieces of paper, "I made a promise that today I'd spend the day with you. And here's proof that I'm not backing out or anything like that. We're going to have a good day today. I promise you that." I handed her one ticket a business card of the restaurant that had our dinner reservations written on it. She took them from me and stared at them almost in disbelief. "You should dress nicely, Shan Cai. Make it feel special," I told her. She looked up at me and I could tell that she was trying to hide her smile. I smiled back at her, knowing that I succeeded in making her happy. "I've got a lot more to do, I'll come get you at your apartment at six." I walked off and made more preparation.

*Shan Cai*

I watched as Hua Zhe Lei walked in the opposite direction. I looked back down at the ticket and the business card. Inside I was feeling so happy. Happy that I finally get my time with Hua Zhe Lei. At least I'll know that I had a small chance with him, and that I was able to experience what it might have been like if he and I were together. I hugged the two pieces of paper to my chest and scurried off to my second class.

As soon as my second class ended, I rushed home and got ready. Xiao You was home too and she watched me shuffle through my closet to find something nice to wear. I then came to a familiar dress that was stuffed at the back. I pulled it out and realized that it was the dress that I borrowed from Jing Xue Jie. "Why don't wear that Shan Cai?" Xiao You asked as she continued watching me from my door frame I looked at her then back at the dress, I shook my head.

"I don't feel right for even keeping it this long. I'm gonna go give it back to her. I'm sure I'll find something else in my closet. I'll be back, Xiao You," I placed Jing Xue Jie's dress in a garment bag and left my apartment to Jing Xue Jie's house.

*Shan Cai*

I paid the cab driver and walked into her foyer. A few maids and butlers greeted me and asked of my business. They directed me to Jing Xue Jie's room and I headed towards the direction. I walked up the grand staircase, down the long hallways and finally I was in front of her room door. The door was slightly ajar but I suddenly realized that she had a visitor...

*Jing*

I called Lei over to my home because I just couldn't clean something out of mind. When I requested him to come over, her almost sounded hesitant to do so. He soon agreed and was in my room within twenty minutes. He sat myself on one of my loveseats calmly and waited for me to say something. "Lei, about what you told me last night, about how the flowers were really for Shan Cai and not me... it made me start to think..."

"Think about what?" he asked me with a curious voice.

"Think about that you don't love me anymore. I mean, the way you look at her sometimes, the way you care about her... you used to do those things for me... but ever since I came home, we haven't really done anything together... things have involved Shan Cai sometimes... and what I'm trying to say is that... I'm jealous." I sat down across from Lei as I studied his face, trying to see if I was right in any way. Lei got up from his seat and kneeled down in front of me. He cupped my fists in his hands and looked into my eyes.

"Jing, I'm sorry if I've made you feel like that lately. But you don't need to be jealous. Shan Cai is a friend, nothing more. I care about her, yes, but I love you. I promised Shan Cai that I would never break her heart, and I will keep my promise to her. I want to show her and teach her that she doesn't have to be afraid to trust others again. She will find someone who will love her and will learn to trust fully. But Jing, no matter what is going on between Shan Cai and I , always remember that I'm always thinking about you, because I love you." He then rose up a little and kissed me on the lips.

*Shan Cai*

'Nothing more...?' I felt my knees go weak, and without thinking, I rushed down the hallway and around the corner. I leaned against the wall, and slowly slid down to the floor. I felt like I had just been smacked in the face and I could really feel my heart break into two.

This is my cue to really leave Hua Zhe Lei behind...


	30. Infinity

Chapter 29

Infinity (Shan Cai and Lei's View)

Music: Back into You – Amber Davis

*Shan Cai*

I slowly made my way back home. All I could hear in my mind were Hua Zhe Lei's words, "nothing more". Each step I took, I felt pieces of my heart falling and shattering on the ground. I felt as if I were limping home, like a puppy who had just been hit by a car. I now, more than ever, want to leave here, and leave behind every heartache I've encountered in this place.

I arrived home and went back to my room. I decided to still accompany Hua Zhe Lei since he went through all the trouble to give me a good day. I asked Xiao You if I could instead borrow one of her dresses. She happily helped me out and gave me her best dress. The door clock was showing five-thirty and Hua Zhe Lei would be here soon. Xiao You continued to help me get ready and went to answer it and in stepped Hua Zhe Lei, wearing a cream colored sweater and khakis. In his hands were a bouquet of assorted flowers. I stepped out and presented myself to him. I thought to myself, that today, I should make the most out of it, and be happy, happy that he's giving me a chance to spend time with him.

"You look beautiful, Shan Cai," he said to me as he handed me the flowers. I took them from him and gave him a smile.

"Thank you," I said and put the flowers down on the side table.

Hua Zhe Lei and I made our way over to the theatre where we were to see a show. We sat quietly and were entertained by the soft music. After the show ended, we made our way over to our dinner reservations. We were seated and we took our time ordering. "Order whatever you want, Shan Cai," he said to me. I wasn't really sure of what to order, and I wasn't comfortable with eating at such an expensive restaurant. I continued looking over the menu, and I finally made my decision. The waiter came and took our order and it quickly came to our table. We ate silently as well. I kept my head down as we ate. "Are you okay, Shan Cai?" Hua Zhe Lei asked me. I nodded that I was okay. "Do you want to go take a walk after?" he asked. Again, I nodded my head.

*Lei*

Shan Cai always seemed to puzzle me. I really wish I could see what was going on in her head. Hopefully tonight, she'll open up to me and tell me what's wrong. We finished dinner and I drove us to a secluded beach. I came prepared, since I pulled out a blanket for us to sit on. The sun was starting to set and the waves crashed against the shore, creating a real peaceful atmosphere. Shan Cai continued to stay quiet, almost as if focusing on the sun. "You okay?" I asked her again.

"I'm fine, Hua Zhe Lei. Thank you for a wonderful evening," she said to me, her eyes still focused on the setting sun.

*Shan Cai*

I closed my eyes and listened to the waves crash. For a moment, I was happy. Happy that I was sharing this scenery with Hua Zhe Lei. Happy that I got to spend time with him. I heard light rustling next to me, and soon I heard his voice calling my name, "Shan Cai," I turned my head and opened my eyes. In front of me was a jewelery box, "I got you something". I took the box curiously and waited for more explanation, "go ahead and open it," he urged me. I slowly opened it and it revealed a necklace with an infinity symbol as the pendant. My eyes widened. It was beautiful as it sparkled in the sunset light. "I wanted you to have this. This signifies that no matter what happens, I'll always be there for you, even if forever ends. Our friendship will be infinite." He then took the necklace from me, and proceeded to put it on me. I touched the pendant gently as it hung around my neck. "Do you like it?"

"I do. Thank you, Hua Zhe Lei."

"Call me Lei. We're friends, Shan Cai, not strangers."

"Thank you, Lei," I gave him a smile, a real smile. I was really happy at that moment. Now it's even harder to leave...


	31. Give Up

Chapter 30

Give Up (Shan Cai, Lei, and Jing's View)

没有你的每一天 – 徐婕兒

*Shan Cai*

Lei drove me home and told me goodnight. I thanked him again for the night and went inside. I softly closed the door, careful to not wake Xiao You, and went to my room. I changed out of the dress and then remembered the necklace that was dangling on my neck. I looked in the mirror and admired it more. My heart swelled up as I could feel myself fall deeper in love with him. I don't know how I'm going to leave behind my undeniable love for him. It's not going to be easy.

The next day at school, I ran into Qing He. I'm glad I ran into him, I needed to talk to him. "Qing He, I need your help."

*Lei*

I was glad that I was able to make Shan Cai happy and gave her a wonderful night. Walking down the halls of school I saw from across the quad, Shan Cai. But she was with someone again; Qing He. My hear again started to tug. Am I jealous? Why should I be jealous? I decided to brush it off and made my way over to their direction. But as soon as I took a step, my phone rang. "Hello?"

"Let's have lunch!" I heard Jing's voice on the other end. "I'm in front of the school. I'll be waiting." Jing hung up and I put my phone in my pocket, heading towards the front of the school.

She took us to a small cafe and we had a small meal together. "I leave on Sunday. Are you going to miss me?" she asked.

"Of course I will. When's your next break?"

"Not until Summer. I'm so loaded with schoolwork that I won't be able to visit. Will you visit me instead?" she looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Sure. I'll come sometime in April. You can count on it." I told her in confidence.

"I can't wait," she said happily. We finished our light lunch and I walked her back to her car. "Do you want to do something tonight?" she then asked suddenly.

"Sure. What would you like to do?" I asked her.

"I just want to have a nice quiet dinner together before I leave. I'm gonna miss you like always."

"Of course, Jing. Anything you want. I'll come by and pick you up at around seven."

"Okay. Bye."

*Jing*

As Lei watched me drive away, I called up Xiao You, "can you meet with me?" I asked her. She quickly agreed and I met her at hers and Shan Cai's apartment.

"What's the problem?" she asked me.

"Xiao You... does Lei have feelings for Shan Cai?"

"Wh...what are you asking?" Xiao You gave me an act. She knew something.

"Does Lei have feelings for Shan Cai?" I asked again in a more desparate tone.

"I... I don't know, Jing. I really don't know if Lei has any feelings for her. But I do know that Shan Cai is in love with Lei. Lei doesn't see the damage that he's doing to her. He doesn't see that his promise to 'not break her heart' _is_ breaking her heart. He doesn't know that Shan Cai always holds in her feelings for him whenever she sees you two together. I know it's slowly killing her inside. I really wish she would say something to him... just to at least get it off her chest," Xiao You finished her opinion and it made me think a little.

"I love Lei, Xiao You, I really do. Seeing him do things for Shan Cai, it makes me jealous. But at the same time, since Lei told me about her past, it's something to smile at. Shan Cai does deserve to be happy... I just wish that it was someone else who was doing it..." I looked at Xiao You, "Xiao You... should I give up Lei for Shan Cai's happiness?"


	32. My Memory

Chapter 31

My Memory (Xiao You, Lei, and Shan Cai's View)

Music: Goodbye – L2M

*Xiao You*

"Give up Lei for Shan Cai's happiness? Jing, are you sure?" I was baffled!

"Do you think that's the right thing to do? Just the way he looks at her sometimes make me wonder about their relationship."

"Jing, have you talked to Lei about this?"

"Yes, and he said that he doesn't have any feelings for her," Jing was beginning to sob.

"Do you believe him?" I asked. She blew her nose and dabbed her eyes.

"Yes... but there's still a hint of doubt. I really do believe that Lei has feelings for Shan Cai and it will soon be exposed when anyone least expects it. What if he tells me that he loves her before our wedding night or something like that? If I let him go now, I'll be hurt less? Right?" Jing was really upset. I really didn't know what to tell her. I agree with her however. But it really should be Lei to be the one to realize things. "Xiao You, what should I do? We have a dinner date tonight. I don't know if I should still hold onto something that won't be there when I come back. What's going to happen between them once I leave to go back to France? He'll have more time to spend with her!"

"Jing," I took her hands, "he's been with you, and always waited for you to come home from school for the past seven years. I don't think anything could tear you guys apart. If you see that, then you shouldn't be worried about leaving one last time," Jing sniffed and nodded her bravely. "Just have a nice dinner tonight. Who knows, he might give you a memorable night." I told her with a smile. She smiled too.

*Jing*

~Sunday

I had my bags packed and ready to go. Lei drove me to the airport and we're saying our goodbyes. "I'll miss you," I told him.

"I'll miss you too. Don't worry, I'll come visit you this time, I promise. I love you, Jing," he then gave me a light kiss on the forehead.

"ALL FLIGHTS TO PARIS, FRANCE, PLEASE PROCEED TO GATE A! ALL FLIGHS TO PARIS, FRANCE, PLEASE PROCEED TO GATE A!"

"That's me. I'll call you when I land. Goodbye, Lei," we waved goodbye and I boarded the plane with a heavy heart.

*Lei*

I left the airport and drove my way over to Shan Cai's place to see how she's been. Once I got there I saw Shan Cai packing a suitcase. "Where are you going?" I asked curiously?

"Oh, um, Xiao You and I are taking a weekend trip up North," she said with nervousness.

I looked around, "a lot of suitcases for a weekend," I pointed out.

"Um, they're mainly hers..."

"Alright... well have a nice time. Take pictures of you two."

"I will." We then stood in silence.

"Do you want to do something today?"

"Um... I kinda have work to do. Since we're going away for the weekend, I can't do any of my studies. I need to get ahead now so I won't be behind."

"Okay... do you want me to help you?"

"No thanks."

"You sure? I can always help."

"It's okay, thanks anyways."

"Well, just call me if anything." I walked out of her apartment and drove home confused.

*Shan Cai*

When Lei left, I let out a sigh of relief. I was worried that he would somehow catch on. I zipped my last suitcase and called Qing He. "I'm ready, you can come over now."

I walked around my apartment to make sure I had everything I needed. I touched pieces of furniture and the walls. So many memories. Letting go isn't as easy as I thought. Tears fell from my eyes as memories flooded back to my mind...

_The day I met Lei_

_The day he said he'd be my friend_

_The day I found out he tried to buy me show tickets and we see the show together_

_The day I heard him say to Jing Xue Jie that he didn't have feelings for me_

_The day he took me out and gave me a wonderful night_

_The moment he gave me the infinity necklace_

_The moment when he promised to never break my heart..._

I have good memories and bad memories here in Taiwan; some I will treasure forever, others I want to bury and never look back at. Leaving is the hardest thing to do, but in the long run, it's the right choice. I heard Qing He walk in and he started getting my bags. Everything was packed and ready. Everything I knew and loved would be left behind; except one thing. I reached behind my neck, unclasped the chain, and gently laid the necklace on the nightstand. I then took out a letter I had wrote earlier and read it over one last time:

_ 'Xiao You_

_ I'm so glad I got to know you and you have become one of my very good friends. But I must leave behind hurtful memories and leave behind my feelings for Hua Zhe Lei. Please don't tell him. It will only make the situation more difficult. I will leave behind my feelings for him. I will be studying at the University of California Los Angeles with my new friend Qing He. He will help me out over there. I will be fine. Don't worry._

_From you friend,_

_Shan Cai'_


	33. Telephone

Chapter 32

Telephone (Xiao You, Lei, & Shan Cai's View)

Music: Tell Me Goodbye – BIGBANG

*Xiao You*

I couldn't believe the letter that Shan Cai had left. Leaving... forgetting about Hua Zhe Lei... he'll take care of me...? I couldn't believe that Shan Cai gave up that easily... now that Jing is gone, Shan Cai could have had a chance to confess her feelings to Lei. I had to tell Lei... he should know. I folded Shan Cai's letter and hurriedly dialed Lei's number. Once, twice, three times the phone rang, and then the voicemail answer tone comes on, "the number you have reached is currently unavailable..." I hung up the phone. I really wasn't sure how to tell Lei... would he care?

*Lei*

After Jing's departure, my father summoned me to Japan. Apparently, it's time for me to start learning and talking on the family business. I've been here in Japan for almost a week. It suddenly dawned on me... I haven't spoken to Shan Cai... I felt so guilty once again. I picked up my phone and called Shan Cai. Once, twice, three times the phone rang, then the voicemail answer tone came on. I decided to just leave a message, "hi, Shan Cai. Haven't talked to you in a while, and I just wanted to tell you that I'm in Japan learning how to run my family's business. Anyways, just wanted to see how you were doing, and I should be back in Taiwan next week. Bye." I hung up, and continued on with my work. As I was working, Shan Cai's sad face kept popping up inside of my mind. Her tear-stained face and her shoulders slumped so low made my heart ache. My fingers that were typing rigorously started to slow down as more and more images of Shan Cai flooded my mind. How could I leave without telling her? I decided that next week was too far long. I booked the next flight to Taiwan.

*Xiao You*

Bring in the apartment by myself really is lonely. I never realized how quiet this place was knowing that you're the only one who;s filling the apartment up. I looked at Shan Cai's empty room and her letter that I left laying on her desk. It was so empty. All the drawers and closet space was completely empty. Not even a speck of dust was rolling around the floor. A sudden knocking was heard at the front door. I wasn't too curious at who it might be, but I was nervous at who it might be. I opened the door and it was Lei. "Hi Xiao You, is Shan Cai home?" My eyes widened as he asked me... what should I tell him?

"Um... she's not home right now... can you come back later?" I tried to buy myself some time. I needed to think about how I would tell him.

"Um... sure... I'll come back in an hour," he looked at me with a stare as if he could see right through me, "you okay Xiao You?"

"Yeah! Just...stressed...yeah, that's it... stress..." I could feel sweat drip down my temple and my heart beating faster and faster. Lei shrugged his shoulders and let it be. He bid me goodbye and went back to his car. I honestly didn't know what I should do. I closed the door and picked up my phone that was lying on the coffee table. I decided to call Shan Cai.

*Lei*

After I left Xiao You in her stressed state, I decided to look for Shan Cai at her work place. I got into my car and drive away I soon arrived at Shan Cai's workplace. I pushed the door open and was greeted by one of her co-workers. I smiled back and asked, "is Shan Cai here?"

"Um...no, she put in her resignation last week, so she no longer works here."

"Wh... what do you mean? Why did she quit?"

"She went to America for her studies," the co-workers explained.

"You mean she's gone?" My eyes were so wide they felt as if they were about to pop out of my eye sockets. I dashed out of the shoppe, jumped into my car and sped back to Shan Cai's apartment. As I was driving, I tried calling Shan Cai's. I kept getting multiple rings and her voicemail tone. I repeated calling her until I reached her apartment calling her until I reached her apartment I firmly knocked on the door until Xiao You opened it, "Xiao You, you lied to me. Shan Cai's gone She's in America. Why'd you lie to me?" I bombarded her with questions, demanding her to answer me. She was frozen as I continued questioning her. "Xiao You, answer me. Why did you lie to me?"

"I'm sorry, Lei... she made me promise not to tell you... I'm sorry..." her head hung low, almost in shame. I gently grabbed her shoulders and almost begged her to tell me where Shan Cai was at, "she's studying at UCLA with Qing He." I wasn't sure of how to respond. I knew that my plans were to spend time with Shan Cai after Jing left, but I guess I was paying so much attention to Jing, Shan Cai decided to take herself out of the picture.

"I have to find her, Xiao You," I declared.

"I don't think that's a good idea... I don't think that she wants to be found by you. I think you should just leave her alone for now... you know her feelings for you, and since you're not returning any kind of affection, she just thought it would be best that she leave and forget about you," Xiao You explained. I couldn't believe that Shan Cai was gone.

"But, I promised her that I'd never break her heart... I can't just forget about our promise, and neither can she. I'm going to America. I'm bringing Shan Cai back to Taiwan." I marched out of the apartment. I called my home to ask of the servants to book me the next flight to Los Angeles, and I was on my way over to America.

*Shan Cai*

It's been a while since I came to America. I really have to thank Qing He for all of his help. He's been a real friend and taking care of me and helping me around school. He even let me stay with him until I can find my own suitable place. I hear a knock on the door and go over to answer it.


	34. Found (updated)

Chapter 33

Found (Shan Cai & Lei's View)

Better in Time – Leona Lewis

*Shan Cai*

"You ready to go?" Qing He asked as he let himself in through the door.

"Where are we going?" I asked back.

"We're going to that event tonight, remember? It's an open mic at the Asian Student Union. Don't tell me you forgot?" He looked at me with disbelief.

"Oh, yeah, that. Yeah, just give me a second," I grabbed my purse and jacket and we were out the door.

As Qing He and I got over to campus, my mind seemed to drift off. I thought about Taiwan and everything that I had left behind: my school, my job, my apartment, and my love for Hua Zhe Lei. I bet by now, he's already forgotten about me. I didn't want to see if I had any messages from him. I didn't want to get my hopes up. Suddenly, Qing He snapped me out of my deep thought. "We're here, Shan Cai."

*Lei*

I arrived in the LAX airport. I hailed a cab and asked the driver to take me to UCLA. As he was driving, my thoughts wandered to Shan Cai. I couldn't believe that she left. She abandoned everything in Taiwan without even really thinking. My thoughts continued to wander towards Shan Cai. My heart ached as I thought about all the possible tears she let fall. I thought about her walking alone everyday. I couldn't believe I left her alone.

The cab stopped and I paid him. Once the cab drove away, I was faced with a sea of multicultural people. I didn't know where to start my search for Shan Cai. I began to aimlessly walk, and hope I'd run into her.

*Shan Cai*

Qing He and I sat together at a table as we watched our friends battle out who was the better singer. I was so distracted about my thoughts of Taiwan. I couldn't think straight at all, "Shan Cai?" Qing He called to me.

"Huh?"

"I'm next, aren't you going to watch?"

"Oh, yeah, of course," Qing He hopped onto the stage and began his comedic act. He won the crowd over with his jokes and soon no one could stop laughing, including me. My cheeks began to hurt. I haven't smiled this much in ages…

*Lei*

I somehow made my way to the Asian Student Union Open Mic event. I walked into a place that looked like a pub. Everyone was laughing. I looked towards where everyone was looking, and there I saw Qing He. If Qing He is here, then that meant Shan Cai is here as well. I started scanning the room, and I found her in the corner, smiling at Qing He. The way she smiled for Qing He troubled me. I was the one who brought smiles to Shan Cai's face. She always smiled for me. My gaze shifted from Shan Cai to Qing He. The more Shan Cai smiled for him, the more my heart ached. Why was I feeling like this? The event soon ended and people were beginning to leave. Shan Cai and Qing were one of the last ones to leave. I silently followed them back to what appeared to be someone's apartment. Was Shan Cai staying with Qing He? I didn't want to wait, so I marched over and knocked on the door. Qing He answered, "Hua Zhe Lei?" his eyes wide, "what are you doing here?"

"Can we talk?" I asked. Qing He stepped out and closed the door. He looked at me confused. "What is Shan Cai doing here?"

"I'm just as surprised as you are. Just one day in Taiwan she tells me she got accepted here and the next thing she asked me to do is to help her get settled here," he explained.

"Why didn't she tell me? I found out through Xiao You."

"I don't know. But, I think she doesn't want to be found by you. Maybe that's why?"

'Doesn't want to be found'? Do I really cause her that much pain? Qing He went back inside his apartment and I walked out on the street and hailed a cab. I asked to be driven to a hotel where I would stay to sort out my feelings for Shan Cai. What was it about her that drew my attention towards her? Why am I so caught up in making her happy? And why am I jealous that she's being taken care of by someone else?

The next day I searched for Shan Cai on the college campus. I couldn't go back to Taiwan until I knew the truth.

The campus was busy with the students walking to and from every building. This school was even bigger than Ying De, how was I going to be able to find her? I tried my luck at the administration, but they wouldn't give me information since I wasn't an immediate family member. My hunt for Shan Cai had left me stuck once again.

I decided instead of being on a wild goose chase for Shan Cai, I waited for her to come back to her apartment. I sat on her porch the whole day. The sun was beginning to set, and she still hadn't come home. I still waited for her on her porch. It was soon eight o' clock at night when I heard footsteps coming down the sidewalk. I looked up and saw that it was Shan Cai. I stood up quickly and she noticed me. Her eyes grew wide and in disbelief. She was glued to the sidewalk. I slowly approached her at an arm's distance.

"Hua Zhe Lei… what… are you doing here?" she asked, frightened.

"I came for you," I replied.

"Why? Shouldn't you be in Japan?"

"Shan Cai, why did you run away here, to America?" I changed the subject, "why did you run away from me?"


	35. Confessions

Chapter 34

Confessions (Shan Cai and Lei's POV)

All the Way Home – Tamar Braxton

*Shan Cai*

'Why did I run away from him? Why did I run away from him? To forget about you!' Is what I wanted to shout at him. I wanted to scream at him for causing me so much pain and heart ache. I wanted to throw punches at him for breaking the most important promise he made to me. I felt hot tears fall down my cheeks. I closed my eyes tightly to try and prevent more from falling. I then felt arms around me. My eyes opened and saw Hua Zhe Lei's chest in front of me. He hugged me tightly.

"Whatever it was that I did to make you run away from me, I'm sorry," Hua Zhe Lei said softly to me as he continued to hug me. I couldn't contain my tears any longer, I let out a painful cry and buried my face in his chest and grasped onto his shirt. I felt my knees tremble violently and they finally gave. Hua Zhe Lei continued to hold and support me as I continued to cry.

*Lei*

Shan Cai's cries were a blow to my heart. I don't think I've ever seen her cry this much in pain. It was extremely painful to listen to her cry. I held her to my chest as close and as tightly as I could. I stroked her hair gently and continued saying that I was sorry.

After what felt like an hour of Shan Cai's tears, she finally began to calm down. We soon were sitting on the porch together. She had her knees hugged up against her chest while trying to catch her breath from all her sobbing. I quietly and patiently waited until she was ready to talk to me.

"Shan Cai, tell me, what have I done to cause you so much pain and for you to run away from me?"

"Hua Zhe Lei, do you not realize that your constant concern for me has caused me to fall in love with you? I've been trying my hardest to not fall for you. So I took your promise to me instead. I knew I could never win over your love for me, so I settled on being your friend and cherished the time you did spend with me. But when Jing Xue Jie returned to claim your love and attention, my heart broke… you broke my heart, and you broke our promise…" she finished with a whimper in her voice.

I had absolutely no idea she had felt this way for me. Of course Xiao You said something, but I foolishly denied it and said that Shan Cai and I are merely friends. My constant concern and me giving her attention has caused her to be misled… I did not mean for this to happen. I did not mean to break her heart, nor my promise to her. There is no amount of words or apologies I could say to make things any better, "Shan Cai, I truly am sorry, I… I don't know what to say about this—"

"There's nothing to say, Hua Zhe Lei. Things are better off with you living your life, and me living mine. Just forget about me and that stupid promise you made to me," Shan Cai then suddenly stood up, wiped her tears off her face and clutched her fists together, "good bye, Hua Zhe Lei," then swiftly turned and ran into her apartment. I jolted up and stopped her door from slamming, injuring my own hand in the process, "Hua Zhe Lei!? What do you think you are doing?"

I winced in pain as I grabbed my hand, "Shan Cai, I know that there's nothing I can do or say to make this right, but I know for certain that I don't want to lose you in my life. I value our friendship, dearly. Do you have any idea how I felt when I heard you moved to the U.S.? Shan Cai, I can't lose you." She stared at me with disbelief, "I can't lose you…" I repeated.

"Hua Zhe Lei… you have Jing Xue Jie to be there for you. It's her who you need to give your love and concern to, not me. I will admit every moment I had spent with you was real, but it wasn't real to where I could believe that you loved me the way I loved you. You can't ask me to stay near you and think that nothing happened. I can't ignore my feelings for you, and I won't. The only way I know I can live in peace is to be away from you. I'm sorry, Hua Zhe Lei… Please… let me go…" she begged me. My heart ached at her confession to me. How could I not have seen all the signs? My attention towards her has brought both happiness and pain to her fragile heart. As much as I knew I did not deserve her friendship, I could not lose her.

"Shan Cai… is this really what you want? Do you really want me to leave you hear in the States by yourself?"

"I am not alone. Qing He will help me. I put my trust within him. I know I will be guided well by him. Please, Hua Zhe Lei, trust that I can be on my own. Trust that I do not need you…"

"Shan Cai… I really don't know what to say. I just… I wish I could make things right… is there any way you can give me another chance?" I almost begged her as well to stay and not leave me.

She took a deep breath, "I think Jing Xue Jie needs you more than I do. Go back to Taiwan and take care of your father's business and take care of Jing. If you still think of me, maybe then, I will give you a second chance."

"Shan Cai—"

"Good bye, Hua Zhe Lei," she turned and closed the door. And just like that, she left me. If only I knew how much pain I caused her, if only I knew how unhappy she was with me, if only I knew that she loved me… things would have been different…

I did not push it any further, and made my way back to the airport and back to Taiwan as Shan Cai had asked of me. If this was the only way I could get another chance with Shan Cai and our friendship, then I will honor it. I hailed a cab and made my way to LAX airport and bought a one-way ticket to Taiwain. As the plane began to ascend into the air, I felt my heart break as I flew away from Shan Cai instead of towards her. 'Shan Cai… please take care of yourself… I will not be there for you anymore. I hope in time you will give me another chance.' I closed my eyes and thought about her all the way home.


End file.
